Yoshizen's Blog

SEXUAL Conotation

It is a funny paradox. I always amazed to find that the search term and its wording which end up

here having many sexual connotations.   Its mean I’ve been giving so much disappointment to

those who is expected to find somewhat erotic content here.   Sorry folks   😀

It was not in my intention or tactics to attract the readers but my careless choice of the subjects.

(For instance, when I used the term [xxxx Do] it supposed to mean such as Kendo, Judo, etc.

in general. As I was not familiar with X-rated film kind, I was not aware — to other’s eyes, it can

be construed as “about Do XXX act” Ha ha ha, very funny. 😀 —– my ignorance but too late)


In 1987, when I heard very first news of the new disease from San Francisco which is now known

to be the AIDS,  I noticed that the sexual relation is no longer safe.

And it was the same time when my court case which related to a woman’s exploitation of

immigration loop-hole was started.

(A woman deported from here, fraudulently registered the marriage in Japan using my name

without my knowledge.   The woman admitted that she did it by an instruction of employer, though

the High Court Judge made it valid and granted her quick divorce for her to escape deportation to

Japan where the Police was alerted.  Naturally,  the case was brought up to the Court of Appeal.

Because of the case was too obvious fraud, the President of the High Court came out to suppress the

matter saying “no need to go into the evidence”—– since the evidence in the transcript says

“Marriage is Void” —– He couldn’t go into the EVIDENCE ) —– ( From this evidence, how

High Court Judge Dobly made the marriage valid, reflect the situation in the English justice)

I just gave up any relation.  Woman is nothing but the trouble.

So that the file in my brain to deal with woman was deleted.

The woman became just a part of a landscape, hence its sexual connotation disappeared.

Existence of Genitals doesn’t mean sex —– its sexual connotation is all in the mind.

( of which I’ve been calling  [ OBSESSION ] —– which can be erased )


Anyhow, court case consume a lots of time and a money. Especially in my case, to proceed it myself

as Litigant in Person (without Lawyer, while studying English Law overnight) was hard.

I was simply fallen into the situation,  not able to spare the time or money to a woman.

It was totally out of question.


Of cause the knowledge was still there and able to see or hear what woman says, though it doesn’t

connect to my EMOTION  hence the so-called female sexuality or their sex appeal stop to

appeal to my mind —– they became the matter of  foreign land or different universe.

A funny side effect (?) was, as the receptacle to read sexual context in my mind has been deleted,  I lost

a capability to see the innuendo or meaning of suggestive approach or its signal. (So that, in many

cases, after long time, I suddenly became aware “I see,  she wanted to sleep with me” 😀 )


As a matter of fact, even myself was amazed to see the change of my own perception. And it

made me realize, this must be the condition of mind what the Zen Buddhism is talking about.

Then I gave a thought. Read the books I brought from Japan etc. etc. —– it was an epoch in my

quest to the Zen.   If the mind can be controlled in this way,  in reverse this must be the way to control

the mind in general. (If even a so-called imperative instinct could be negated and completely

disappeared, there can not be any difficulty to control the mind )


Since then somewhat strange 23 years past —– but, it seems it was seen by others even more strange.

Most of all, be in the Club every weekend, seemed to give an impossible puzzle to others.   😀

I was there to perfect my body movement (others call it dancing) nothing else. Though, even a

club owner, manager seemed not able to understand what is the purpose for.   As a matter of fact, I had

the indispensable opportunities to observe the Skinner Box of male-female behaviour ! ! !   😀

And seeing hundred of almost naked young girls shaking their ass every weekend for (just with the

Fridge Club in Brixton — almost 6 years) so many years, I’ve accumulated a collation of body shape, facial

expression and her dancing style and the character —– how to behave, and so on.

But never dance or even talk with them (and never drink alcohol) created funny myth —– such as,

I was the real owner or under-cover detective etc. —– The worst was mistaken as a gay (for their mind,

“if not interested in woman it must be a gay” then start sexual act straight on the spot, hugging from

behind or touch the body while wearing only kinky strings, etc. —– I respect their right to be a gay.

But I have exact the same right not to be sexually harassed by them —– do what you like but

don’t count me in) —– yet still, those facts enforced my view even stronger—-> not all the gay

person was born to be a gay, but became gay by their choice, its mean a drive came from

their thinking = mind-set can change even an inherent, imperative instinct.


To accumulate too much data makes a person insensitive. —– nothing would surprise nor excite.

And having so much data (about woman) made me too casual, or there is no romantic sanctuary left.

So that I might have lost the usual sense to handle the matter with kid gloves, hence I might be

giving an impression to have lots of sexual talk. (Certain extent, it is true 😀 —– when the subject

having no significance to place in the sanctuary, it became just one hilarious subject among the others)

Hence, I just have no boundary or prohibition.


And the reason why I created so many female nude figure was, simply it is easier. —– it is much

more cumbersome to make a dressed figure, using such as wire or metal panel. And if you put big

boobs it became female nude. In comparison, to show the male figure as male, needs to show more

complexed muscles etc. which is harder for the simple material. (Strangely, my Buddha stature has

no muscle, just the bones —– still nobody thought he is no other than Buddha    🙂 )


If you happen to be an unsuspecting,  misguided reader, who unfortunately end up here,

it was mainly caused by the Google’s key-word program —- they literally, pick up a word out of context.

Still, I hope, you had unexpected fun while reading this.     Ha ha ha 😀



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