Yoshizen's Blog

Order in Disorder (1)

Reflecting back my own life, I myself often amazed, or even bemused,

how I’ve been coming through chancy life.   I wouldn’t say I was anything casual or irresponsible,

because if there was anything due, I did my bargain in my best.   But beside this, I put even more effort for

something else which is not necessary I was expected to do. —– but in the hind sight, I’m wondering

whether it was my choice or just happened to be there, and I just picked it up ?

When I was small, my interest was the Nature, insect or plant kind.    But it was not my choice.

Soon after the war ended, Tokyo was a burnt down city, not much other than a wild field to go around and

no sports facility or game kind there.     (My hobby of electronics was definitely my choice. And to get the

components, I needed to take a journey to Akihabara where ex-Korean war junk was sold — and those

mechanical-electronical components  such as variable condenser, vacuum bulb’s intricate, futuristic

structure fascinated me ! )

For me to turn my eyes to human life and its psyche was happened when one of the (bad) boy in the

secondary school incited me to read a book of the notorious suicidal novelist, Osamu Dazai.

(so, I became bad boy too —– and became a rebel )

And to start to go to mountain other than for chasing the insects was, simply the class teacher organized an

out of school activity club and I joined it.    (Since I was familiar with walking on the hill or in the woods)

And this activity continued while getting heavier and heavier even to winter rock climbing level.    (Its mean,

I did this, one of the physically, mentally hardest training from 12 years to 27 years, up to 1/3rd of the year

in the mountain)


For me to take the subject of  Industrial Sociology  in my Uni’ was also a sheer coincidence.

A Professor of Industrial Sociology asked me to help his project, and I got involved deeper, that’s all.

But I personally learned from him, how to observe and analyse the man and its society.

(Visualize somebody’s life and give an insight “If I were the man in there, how do I feel

and behave”—– this approach gave me great insight, and the way to see the human life

—– instead of imposing the view or criteria of observation, not to take superficial

observation of one’s behaviour, but to see the situation from the person’s psyche and his

stance, was the crucial attitude I learned from him)

And while in my Uni’ I spent most of the time  (well, while I was not in the mountain)  in the Herbalium in

the Science dept’ despite I was studying sociology.    This Makino Herbalium is one of the largest in Japan

having millions of botanical specimen and I was working there, taking photo of plant or making specimen.

It was my part-time work to pay for the Uni’ and to go to mountain or skiing.

While there, I was asked to join 3 expeditions to help botanists as a botanical photographer and an expert of

jungle walking   🙂 —– in fact for those reason I remained in my Uni’ altogether 7 years.

(with annoyance of the administrator, who shouted me  “Are you still here ?” 😀 )

———- but I might have made a mistake to become a photographer   😀

( But if I were not a photographer, I didn’t come and to live here —– it was a necessary

 element in the course of my life —– like a Butterfly Effect / minute change may cause

the drastic difference in the end result —– therefore, there is no regret )

( To deal with close-up photography,  it is necessary to improvise or even specially design the equipments.

Working in a part of the Science Dept’,  I could access the engineering machine in the Technology Dept’ and

having the knowledges of electronics lead me to design even special camera.  It happened, as it happened.

—– was that natural consequence or just a lucky coincidence  —– it’s a good question  🙂 )


Then I left Japan.  And while staying in England as a photojournalist, suddenly the awkward court case was

started which I had no choice.   I had to deal with the case as a Litigant in Person while learning English Law

overnight —– and I was forced to give up photographic business.   Court case really consume time though,

in the other hand,  if next hearing is months away —- suddenly, too much time but nothing to do.

So that, I got plenty time for reading and thinking —– about  Zen.  Then, suddenly  “ Alas,

now I know,  all through my life,  I was given the hardest training to become a Zen monk”.

I’ve learned Nature. Then my scope was expanded to human existence while dealing with sociology and

working in the mountain as a voluntary keeper,  seeing the people in their edge of  the life.   Hence, farther

into the spiritual fundamental aspects of humanity.

(but didn’t learn how to deal with funeral , so, don’t ask me to conduct a funeral 😀 )

(Since, the Court case was caused by a woman’s explotitation of my immigration status, I was quarified to decrear

” Woman is the cause of nothing but the trouble”  hence I quit to deal with woman.  Literally became a monk  😀  )


Looks utterly chancy life though, on the end, it converged into one direction.

And yet another coincidence,  I happen to start this Zen blogging.

Before I left Japan,  I was told by my mother who was a psychic, and while she was reading my palm line

“Since you got mission, you wouldn’t be fallen before your task was accomplished. Therefore I wouldn’t

worrying about you at all” —– I don’t know the reason why I don’t get ill (I still have no registered Doctor

while staying in this country 35 years), or in the mountain,  I had falls on the rock 3 times though never

injured.   And I’ve broken 3 skis but never broken any bone   😀

—– It’s hard to tell, whether all of those are just the sheer coincidences, and I was just lucky

—– or something else ? —– there seems to be no order or rational connection, everything

were just occurred,  yet still,  in the hind sight,  there was a certain direction.

( If A hasn’t been there, encountering  B wouldn’t be happened, then at the B, conveniently C

happened —– and so on,  and lead to  Z  on the end = this is the life. )

? is this the hidden order ? —– Or the Dharma’s intention ?


( To be continued to the next post  🙂  )


2 Responses

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  1. fra said, on July 8, 2011 at 10:29

    Whether is Dharma or Me that moves my hand I can not tell;
    Fate and freedom are two side of the same (spinning) coin.

    • yoshizen said, on July 8, 2011 at 15:07

      Fate may show you three choices —– you pick one, with your free choice.
      You believed it was your freedom —– though, she (Fate) knew you pick that one 😀
      The matter, what really in your hand is when you deal with [that one] you do your best or badly.
      You have total freedom to do utterly rubbish or the best —– so, the time of reflection ? ? ?
      Do the best is, tiresome continuous work and work —– still, one lapse of moment, one word can
      spoil all the work. Life is harsh 😀
      Because I’m a lazy man, I just pick first one. No dithering. And only do the job in only the way
      I can —– as I know only myself, there is no other choice but to do the work I only know.
      So, there is no useless thinking. —– still, it’s happen to be the best.
      —– this is the reason why [The life to be a Buddhist] is easy, it even doesn’t need to worry.
      Ha ha ha, Believe me 😀

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