Requiem

Those screen shots of the Youtube viz was made with Canon 5D-MkIII, EF 40mm F 2.8 set manually to F5.6, 1/8 ~ 1/30 Sec’ = ISO was selected to enable this exposure.

Under the restriction we stay at home —– to spend more time with internet. = So, I encountered one of the most distinguishable, Morzart’s Requiem which was packed with the strongest anger ( = no sobbing, or asking mercy but an explosion of the anger — may be toward the God) But, mind you this recording was made 2014 —– I think the Venezuela was not in the hell (yet). And this is not my sarcasm toward the COVID-19 trouble we are having. (Timing was purely the coincidence) — but, my coincidence was always having had the message = the God may be angry.)

The musisians of this orchestra and the choir must be the ethnically the most diversified members — that’s what I noticed.

In my view, the Requiem is only a music Mozart created for himself with his true sentiment. (Others were just a commercial products to buy a favour of the society)

(Morzart said to be a member of the Free Masons though, when he died even before completion of this Requiem, nobody helped his funeral and he was buried to a common grave. — was this what he deserve ?)

—– yet still, there seems to be the reason why. Unlike what you believe, the real life of Mozart was nothing like a decent kind, but a hopelessly disorderly man = loose on the money and drunk which pushed all of his friend to forsake him = so, when he faced the death, he must be aware what to expect = the reality of the own fate = the reflection of own making. He must have had enough anger toward himself, much much more than toward the God who he never seen.

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Selfless — Mushin ?

In my blog, I’ve been talking about the way of conditioning our brain to omit the process of the amygdala where the tagging of the incoming signal to the “Self” would be made. In the normal way, we can separate the particular face or person to such as my wife, kids or my friend etc. against the other nobody. Or the certain possession, or the occurrence to mine or my concern otherwise to no interest. Therefore, if we do negate this tagging process, everything would lose significance and become a remote landscape. —– to a certain extent, as everything become to detached object, a worry to lose them or want more kind of greed would be no longer there. So does the emotional trouble of up and down in the relationship would be gone. (How boring you might say.) 😀 —– A bit more serious front, where the situation is a fight or flight. It is the moment to be or not to be. Yet still, we can be free from such trouble by avoiding to be overwhelmed. —– We can be cool.

Amygdala is a part of the limbic system = primitive part of the brain. = It’s mean, they are common with other animal and in fact, those primitive part alone can manage the primitive life. (Only human needs a big brain) In the limited narrow environment, and as the limited life form, such as a small reptile can live their perfect life. They may not have a complexed communication system or accumulated information system still, enough DNA information to navigate the environment and the response to the life’s each needs = where to live, how to eat, how to mate, where to lay eggs etc etc. As long as the one lives their life as their life, the life existing as a complete life form. Only very few creatures imagine the situation beyond what their existence is. (Other than human, such as the monkey use the tools, even crow knows to drop a shell from the air to clack it and eat = speculated expectation made by the brain power)

The funny origin of the Buddhists “No-self” was that it was conceived against the Vedic / Hindu idea of the Atoman (perpetual soul) still, not only that, from the point of Karma (interrelationship of cause and effect) how the soul can exist after the own body’s death, and from the observation of the facts that is we are walking, working without having clear conscious, and such state must be the state of the truth to be with Dharma. So, to do the things without having conscious, became the point to achieve. —– The remarkable achievement under such state (of Mushin) is the by-products of later days.

When the coming signal was diverted from the amygdala, where they goes ? = they might be treated as nothing or nobody and as it got no pre-tagging, it could be made to quite illational connection. As the amygdala could make very rational established responce, but, once it was diverted, the signal could be treated quite wiled way = this is the very hot bed of the creativity or known to be open-minded situation. —– When the signal couldn’t find its natural nest of “Mine or Ego” the stray info’ end-up in the bizzerre fancy shop ! 😀

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Most beautiful Face 2018

The magazine, TC Candler announced the 100 Most Beautiful Faces of 2018 which selected Thylane Blondeau as the top beauty.

And this is yet again Ai Shinozaki = she was listed in there 84th, the bottom of  4 other Japanese. 

(Something distinctive of the Japanese standard of “Beauty” or “Pretty” often reject the big-mouthed face like the western “Gorgeous” face. —– simply Japanese hate talkative = noisy person to be in their close proximity. = We wouldn’t deny their existence though, don’t come close to me = leave me alone, don’t disturb my peace.  In reality, there are lots of talkative active women presenter in the TV = no problem we can just switch off the TV) 

What peculiar the choice of Ai Shinozaki is —– she is not a typical Japanese beauty, far from it, she is rather indistinguishable = you may miss her in the cloud.   But that is the strongest point why she was chosen to be the top of most untold lover of Japanese men.   Thousands, millions of men are the Otaku, loving their 2D character (= the character in the printed comics) hate 3D real existence of women = hence stay alone, never get involved into the relation. 

For most of the western man’s concept, such mind-set couldn’t be understood = without the physical meanings, it would be no use to think about the relation.  But it seems, the love can be a purely an imaginal existence in some cases. 

Many years ago, when I went back Japan to see my mother, she told me that the mother of woman-A came to tell that A will going to get marry.     ? ? ? — A was one of my secondary school classmate.    Why her marriage was anything to do with me ?   To be other than a classmate, nothing else has been happened between us.   We’ve never been a close friend let alone any relationship.    Yet still, in her mind, one-day when I come back from England, then court her hand.  —– can anybody hold this belief for 25 years in a totally isolated mind = no attempt to make any communication, never came to see my mother asking my address and attempt to write a letter.  But just waited as an innocent maiden.  I’m not telling you a horror story, neither bragging or boast funny story.   It was just a simple fact happened many years ago.   So, I’m wondering that in her 70s, how woman-A is thinking her life?  And myself, if it was happened what kind of the life we could have together. But, the Karma kept me woman free and made me live as such.  This is what Karma mean, it is beyond of anybody’s choice.  We can not bend it. 

Like all other instinctive reactions, the love was created in the old cortex of the brain, Amygdala.   When certain visual signal (or other significant signal) hit the Amygdala   ! ! !   Oh, I love it (or him or her) = Love at the first sight.   And it was the instant seclusion of the Love hormone, serotonin, dopamine etc —– with those chemical effects filling all corner of the body = the body was immersed with love.  Finger was filled with tingling sensation, other parts was filled with hot blood etc etc.  Such reaction has the same pattern like when we saw a deadly snake, then our body would be filled with adrenaline and get hi-tension. —–

Funny things about the visual pattern which hit hard the Amygdala.  It seems that the pattern was pre-loaded, but it is hard to trace the origin.   (could be even DNA originated subconscious.) —–  Try to find such pattern,  I collected 50,000 photos of faces and sorting them —– I found the pattern which attract me though, I couldn’t find any relation among them, let alone its origin.   Even funnier was, such pattern creates the soft spot in the mind = it seems this soft spot is the all source of the trouble.   Such soft spot blinded our eyes and override the rational thinking.   (Simply, we often turn the blind eyes to the cause of trouble = then it will come back hard)   Life is hard = So, why not to have a dream on 2D beauty —– they wouldn’t betray you.   😀

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Expression

Following the previous post, this is the even more enigmatic piece.   In fact, I just lost a word and got my jaw dropped.       I’m not sure, whether I can call it a dance —– or just an expression happen to be on the body ?

(The viz looks quite dark and mysterious, even nightmarish. —– and that’s I like) The Art in this level would negate all the question such as where it came from or even who made this.  Though, the harsh reality is, we may not able to see the same, after some years or decade as the body of the performer will be lost.   Without the body, its controlled movement and its moment, this art couldn’t exist. —– should we feel sad ?  —– the even harsher reality is, the memory, and its container = brain will be also rotten in the same time.    Who said art is long ? —– (Youtube viz may last longer —– yet it’s horrifying to image, after all the living things extinct, still those video data will remain as the electronic form like a fossil stone. 

Those two above were more like commercial dancing still showing some relation to the first piece.      (They are quite beautiful.)

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Short Walk (B)

Those photos were another product of the same Short Walk (A), hence using the same homemade lenses Helicoid (A) and (B) on the Sony A7R.     While walking through the park, finding which flower is really a chance encounter, and how to capture it, while seeing the character of the optics and the shape of the flower, how to compose it, in which angle and the distance IS what all about the Photography.  In certain extent, it is a game or the match between the two personalities.  In Zen Buddhist term, we are living on the moment to moment life.   And to deal with the Person (subject just encountered) as if there is nothing else exists and nothing else to do is, so-called Mindfulness, and in this mind-set, there is no Ego.   So, this situation is a proof of the No-self or Anatman.   Yet still, in other stance, to see a subject as a subject might be seen as yet another Ego, therefore not aim the subject but to see everything as the everything may be a right view.   Though, in practice, the image of an ultra-wide angle lens clicked random is just a mess —– so, the question is, whether the Zen needs a nice answer ?    Or such answer itself is not Zen ? ? ?  —– Good question.   What a nice day ! —– Ha ha ha,  😀  

Helicoid (A) lens happen to have an Iris, so that, by the depth of field control, flower showed a bit more details, still, take the image of Helicoid (B) (photo right) is a matter of the taste.

Both (A) and (B) lenses, its center of close-up images are amazingly good.

Those two pictures were given a shake when the shutter was opened. (Don’t ask me what for — it’s only for a fun)

I realized that I don’t have many photos of the Blue Bell.  May be their flower is too common, yet only in a short period.  Still, why it makes the difference to the Cherry ? —– M m m ?  —– I might have an unconscious notion, that the Cherry is the Japanese but the Blue Bell is English.   But why ? ? ? —– May be because, I didn’t grow up with Blue Bell but with Cherry.   As the photography is a way of the Self expression, it became a kind of a biography.

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Feeling – Heart – Mind – Thinking

Because of its nature of ambiguity, what going in the depth of our Mind has no clear picture or even the defined notion or name.  Nevertheless, we are using a kind of the name for the sake of convenience.  And, we are using a kind of words to describe each Psychological phenomena.   So, from the murky deep to clear conscious, we named each of them such as to Feeling, Heart, Mind, Thinking. 

With the advancement of the technology and the medical science, the research and the understanding toward those mechanism of the psychological phenomena were becoming clear day by day.  And the development of experimental psychology is started to show quite new fact and the reality. 

One of the experiment, which was — the two group of the volunteer was given the Adrenalin hormone (so, the blood pressure rose and the heart started pounding) and one group was told by a decoy volunteer as “I heard we are going to have a  pretty funny game after this. So, I’m very excited” and the other group heard the other decoy murmuring that “I heard that the after effect of this experiment could be very bad. I’m very much worried of this”  On the after interview, the first group told that he (she) was very excited with the expectation of fun.  But the second group answered that they felt fear.

—– The same physiological effect = risen blood pressure and pounding heart was felt by the first group as a joyful excitement.   But the second group felt it was a tension of a fear. = Each were biased to the opposite direction by the dubious suggestions.  So, the feeling could be as simple as the balance of the chemical, same as too much acid in the stomach.  And to figure it out (with the biased expression) “I’m very heavy” is your heart.  Then, describe it with more objective words “I feel very heavy” is your mind.  And you might started to think “Should I take a pil ?”

Ambiguous shadow in the deep, may not have any holy truth.   Neither Carl Jung kind of romantic belief not mention Freud’s delusion.  (Now those kind of so-called “Psychology” was dead long since = simply because no such memory device which hold like Oedipus Complex etc or unconscious memory was found under MRI —– all those were our own creation inspired by the learned story in the daily life = same as a Dream.)    So, the unconscious mind = “Heart” might be just an unsorted complication of the chemical mix. —– As you know, when you feel so crazy and hot in love, the reality was that you were just filled with Oxytocin and Dopamine in your blood. = So, you feel its urge, still as it was nothing to do with any logic or hi-level thinking, you can not describe its factor or reason in word. (In fact, if you could describe it, you were not in love but just observing third party !) —– We call such invisible drive or a vector as the Heart.   😀

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Self — Subconsciousness

With the incredible advancement of the technology, medical science etc, now we are becoming aware what is the Self in totally different aspect. (Though, those stories were based on the net news, Youtube kind = second, third source.  Take this lightly.)

With the forefront study of the monocular biology and the brain science using MRI kind of scanning = observing the activity of the brain, in relation to the internal flora of the bacteria, virus, even the parasite in our guts, are becoming clear. —— Why guts and the brain is linked ? you may say, = those organism in our guts are making many chemicals and those are circulating in our blood and reaching, affecting the brain, and the emotion, even high level decision-making and the behavior pattern.

You might heard the story of the parasite who manipulates the brain of ant to go top of a grass, in order to be eaten by a sheep, then lay their eggs there and it will be spread by the sheep’s droppings then go into the ant again = So, this cycle will be repeated and continues. —– those organisms can produce quite sophisticated chemicals, enzymes which can manipulate even our brain’s thinking and the emotion.  Though, who designed this incredible system is nothing but THE mystery.

Our mood, emotion which affects our thinking, behavior could easily be influenced by those chemicals, brain transmitters, hormones. (Though, we may not know what IS the condition of “Without” = co-havitating bacteria and its chemicals could be the NORM of our existence.) = Remember, “Mitochondria” in our body-cells, they are in fact, just co-havitating foreign organism = we didn’t create them = they got their own DNA !

Long since, we human has been using the term / words, such as Guts Feeling, Intuition etc = we can not clearly know but only vaguely feel the effect, the invisible influence or resulting deep mind, which we call “Subconsciousness” —– IS in reality, a result of the balance of the neuro hormones include the chemicals from those bacteria, parasite, and not much to do with spirituality.  So, true Self could be a product of the bacteria or parasite you are harboring in your guts.  Sound great isn’t it ?    😀

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Self — Phenomenology

I found a talking post in the Youtube, a TV presenter introducing and discussing the topics in the new book = what he found the interesting point in the book.   In this time, while referring to a book introducing the Phenomenology, the presenter picked up that a person expose real self when the person made a mistake, havoc or failure. (Phenomenology is a study to observe / analyse “What was happened” in such “Event” —– so, this technique has been adapted to the Sociology, Psychology etc)    This TV program has been talking about such as a popular misunderstanding, misconception, etc, = give a second thought or new idea to the many daily topics and even an introduction to the Zen kind.

So, what interesting in the matter of Self = “Self would be exposed when the person encountered a bad event” = this IS the same Phenomenon, the “Selfless” in the Zen, but viewed from the opposite direction.  We or a person IS living Selfless as the human norm.  But when the peace of norm was broken at the event, we may get into a panic, or get angry etc and “go into the emotional response”.  These responses tend to reflect the personality = “Real Self”  (Broken something may be a financial loss, inconvenience to live without, or a loss of the precious memento, even a crisis to lose the job with its responsibility = in any aspects, it was the big shock to the Ego, Greed, Sense of security, even a matter of own survival.  And as those emotion is often beyond the rational control, the person act from the deep subconscious = it’s exposes hidden “Self”.  People may interested in to know their “Real Self” though, when actually faced such own response in the moment of “The Event” it would surprise, or even annoyed the person.)

Imagine a situation, when a USB cable was broken — some might shout “F***”, other may get upset “What a bad luck, why today, Why me” or blame the self “Why I was so careless to pull the cable” otherwise, even started to laugh “What’s a day, how silly”   Or, just go to the spare parts box which has been kept for such event. —– Certainly, they were the reflection of each personality.  = When usual kind of the signal was going into the brain = because of the signal was just usual, those signals were ignored by the emotional region (in the limbic system) therefore the daily task would be carried out as a routine, almost automatically, without any emotion.  So, it was seen as the Selfless in the Zen teachings. (Nevertheless, even in the “Selfless” state, all the brain is still functioning just as normal (hence all the bodily function too) BUT only without the Emotional reaction. = its mean, without Ego, Greed, Envy, Fear etc = all the psych emanated from the Emotional region = therefore the tactical response, proper repair etc to the breakage will be carried out with cool rational thinking.)

Though, in a context of the human life, strangely or NOT strangely, those “Emotional Person” was seen as a “Lovable person” and the Selfless calm person was seen cold. (Because, the people can relate to those emotional person for helping, listening, advising, even despising and teasing.)  Life is complicated and hard.  😀    —– Which type you want to be ?

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Bach — Bernstein — Gould — Zen

Oh my Goodness.    I bumped this old film clip, on Youtube = Leonard Bernstein and Glenn Gould talked about J.S.Bach.
Film was shot on 57 years ago, 1960 then Glenn Gould was 28.   Naturally the film showed the two’s younger looks but what surprised me most was, on that time Bernstein was already “the Educator Bernstein” and Gould was “the Only one, Gould”.

(Other nearby Youtube posts, Gould or Bernstein posts are very educative and highly recommended to watch !)
In fact, me to encounter Bach first time was in the Fellini’s film, “La Dolce Vita” —– in the film, a gossip journalist, Marcello met a church organist and the organist played Bach’s music, Toccata and Fugue in D-miner (the most famous and popular organ music — famous still it was the first encounter to my 15-years-old ear)   (incidentally, that the same actor who played the organist later appeared in the other film “Emanuel” as a sex-gulu ! )

I think, it was the early 90s, I listened a BBC annual radio 3 event, the Christmas Lecture, Bernstein talked about the structure and the music language.  It opened my eyes. —– in fact, it taught me more about our emotion than of the music. —– If the music could expect the same effect, it is the proof of that our emotional pattern is much simpler = such as how we feel from major or minor key, even B-miner is associated with the feeling of death ! — how accurate his view was the other matter, but such a view-point to analyze the relation of us to the music was a shock to me. 

So that, that was the same stance, how and why I adapted my view toward the Zen = instead to see it as a holly spiritual mumbo-jumbo but the scientific / medical phenomenon of the neuro-physical function.

Amazingly looks ordinary young man, Gould was already a master of the finger of a Harpsichordist and already know what is the Bach = mean what he is going to do with him = the man aware of his own karma.  (People became aware of their own karma on their later life —– I wonder how he found it in such early life ?)

***** PS:   Related post (following links)  J.S.Bach,  Aaaaaa~~~~~!  are highly recommended post to go. (They clearly explain what I said here.)

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Oleander

This is a tree flower which I have deep attachment, hence I want to see more here = though, strangely she was not planted often.  Probably because people afraid of the poison of this plant.   In deed, if you feed the handful leaves to the animal (cow or goat kind) the animal would die easily = strange contradiction is, its poison (Oleandrin) has very similar effect to the poison of Foxglove (Digitalis / Digitoxin = Very strong stimulant and or poison to the heart) —– yet you can see the Foxglove everywhere even though Foxglove can kill you too.
The reason why I feel such attachment to this flower was, she was associated with some poets who I respect, — and its poisonous nature.    When I was small, my hero was the Ninja or humanoid Robot, not a Superman kind of American comic fantasy.  So, we kids practiced how to make a rope to climb a wall or the formula to make a poison.  (still, I never heard of any accident with those poisons = Japanese got necessary knowledges —– idiot can’t be a Ninja = we kids wanted to master the real skill, not dreaming in a silly fantasy to fly a sky.)

Very remarkable fact of this plant, Nerium Oleander (夾竹桃、キョウチクトウ）is, that this plant has the will and the ability to survive while eliminating other plant with its poison.  Oleander was the plant first revived and flowered on the literally scorched ground of the Hiroshima, after that atomic bomb.   Hence, she was named and honoured as the Flower of the Hiroshima. —– (Hidden message here might not be a flowering peace but a kept poison / we never forget.)

(Those photos were taken by a homemade lens nicknamed “koda-fun lens” with or without extension ring.)
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