Yoshizen's Blog

平常心(対話から)

これは友人とのメールのやり取りの抜粋です(青字は友人)

ーーー で、かつての人生の思い出、その追憶の駒々はどんな栄光や贅沢よりも、私にとってのかけがいのない宝物なのだ。それが宝物かガラクタかは、ひとりひとりのホンネで決める、というより、決まってしまう事だ。

そんな個人ごとの宝物を死ぬまで保持することがいかに大切かを共感する人々は、決して少なくはない。

この心理をわかってくれるときが来れば嬉しい。そして、先輩が意図していること とは無関係に、このホンネの欲求に先ピンホール写真が寄り添ってくれるから、ありがたい。

ピンホール写真にやすらぎを覚えるのは、私の場合、心が覚えていて、時空を超えて再現したい、あるいは、せめて心の中にだけでも再現し再体験したい愛しき何かへの入り口を感じさせてくれるからだ。

  おたくはものすごい思ぃ入れと追憶の中で生きてて、おそらく禅も同様に思ぃ入れ、思念の形だと考ていると思う。しかし僕の禅には思込みの分は無現にやっている事、そこでの無心が僕にとっての禅であり解脱なのだ。つまり、何か特別な思い方とか観念が禅なのではなく、何の思いも無いのが褝なのだ。

何の思念、知的作意なく発想された事は、実は潜在意識、情念の深層からの呼びかけに外ならない。で、それを黙々と追求していくうちに針金彫刻ARに付いたベス単なんて物が出来上った。これが僕の禅であり自在だ。

同様に何故かボケた映像に引っかかる。待てよ、これどっかで見たぞ。いつだったかは解らない遠い昔、ひよっとしたら夢の中だったかも。---で、ツァィスレンズの向にそれを発見して以来、僕のレンズ行脚が始った。ピンホールはその一駒だ。

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  執着を捨てることを良しとする賢人は古来多かれど、「自分に正直に生きる」「嘘をつかずに生きる」ことではじめて安らぎを得る人も多い。しかし現実には本音をいつわり、偽の自分を生きて幸せを装う程、器用に振る舞えない人のひとりであることをさんざん自覚させられてきた

  正直も否も執着と言った感情どころか、そもそもアタシはあまり自己である意識が無いので思いつくまま 勝手に生きさせていただいております。これ禅で言う自在。

で、自在についてもう少し書くと=これは孔子サマの言う「己れの欲する所に従えども距を超えず」と同様なもの己れ、己れの生きざま、思考、撰択の全てが一致しているなら、つまり己れとして生れたそのもの、つまりルマ、ダルマに沿ったものであるなら、それがー如であり、それが正しい。

  正直であるの無いの云々と考えているお宅はまだ正直の外側をうろうろしているだけで正直になり切っていない。(本当に正直なら、それについて考える事はない)

『俺以外の誰でもない俺は、俺である事を考る必要はない』

だから禅は考えないし(無心)自己である意識の必要も無い(無私)。只生きるだけ。---で、これが自在でありその心を平常心と呼ぶ。

お宅がごちゃごちゃ悩んでいるとしたら、お宅は悩むように生れたのかも知れぬ=それがお宅のカルマであるなら、そう生きるのが正しい

(禅とは冷いもんです 😀___/\___ 

Deeper into the Zen

Some of you, the keen followers might be wondering what this man is  talking about ?   And what would it to do with Zen ?

—– The fundamental question is, “If the Zen is to deal with the life in the absolutely empty mind =  in Mushin, (completely dispassionate, almost like a machine) —– Hey stop joking, which part of the brain is actuary handling it ? ”  (If somewhere the brain IS handling = with the intention to handle it, IS not Mushin but just not aware what he is doing, it’s a fraud ! )

How I came to here, you may find how our condition of the Guts (and the chemicals of its bacteria, parasites) influencing our “Feeling = Heart = Mind = ultimately the way of thinking”   We are not really in control. (Since this blog IS the live description of the DIY Zen research, I need to see the mechanism what makes the Zen as Zen —– in fact what IS so-called Zen ? = if any at all ?)

Now you must be convinced, that the so-called Zen teaching in the town IS fraud. Zen couldn’t be learned or taught, while saying Zen.  As long as the notion of Zen in mind, even if it was hidden in the deepest unconsciousness.  It IS not Zen.  I’ll show you “The legend = the Archer who try to reach Zen while learning Archery in Japan” in the next post. (If you like to start ahead, find a book and read it before hand = Zen in the Art of Archery : by Eugen Herrigel —– It’s a small book = 100 pages or so in a Penguin books)

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PS : I’ll explain you, my utterly strange Lens Making Game.  Do you think is there any complicated theory or creative notion ? —– Non at all.  It was the same process of the cutting a lemon.   In other word, a kind of work of Just Do It with a material I found then —– Imagine, do you think would it be any sophisticated philosophy or scientific theory behind ? = far from it, cutting minute depth of metal barrel to match the focus = IS the ZEN.  (I don’t have a skin thick enough to have a pretense to show-off “Copy the mantra” kind)   😀

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修行での矛盾 — Paradox in Zen Practice

しかし禅の修行とは何か? そもそも禅とは何か? しかし禅が何であるかを答えたとしたら、それは禅ではないし、答える事自体が既に禅では無い。  

禅には問う事も無ければ答える事も無く実にそれが無くなった所に禅が在るのです。と言うより、元々禅などと言うものは存在していない。  

禅習得の足しになる方便は武道とか芸事など色々在り、それぞれの技能の習得、その進歩が目に見え体で感じられたりするので修行としたら大変都合が良い。 ---しかし、その都合良さに惑わされてしまうと、まるで禅と呼ばれるたいそうな事でもやっているような錯覚に陥る。

禅は神経生理上、シグナル(入力情報)が情動域(主に偏桃体)の関与無しに自動的に処理されるようになるので (情動域が『私の』というタグを付ける事で『我』=エゴ、欲、自己保存意識が発生する = 逆に言えば情動域が無視するような、害も無い反復シグナルを送り続けると情動域は無感覚になり入力を運動域などに直通させるようになる) 例えば武道においては恐怖のためらい無く、体が無意識に反応して神技のように動いたり、習い事で目をつぶったままでも完璧な所作が出来るようになったりする。 しかしここで生じる問題は、体や意識がその行に特定されてしまうという事です。(武道の奧義に達したからと言って禅の達人になるとは限らないーーー実在する奥義の後に禅が在ると思いがちですが、在ると思うのは禅などと言う観念に捕われた妄想に過ぎません。何故ならそのような観念すら存在しないのが禅なのですから) 

しかし刀も持たず、対峙する相手もない状態で、---例えば己自身に対してどれだけ無心になれるか? そもそも刀が無かったら己はここまで来ていたか? 

禅の修行はしばしば川を渡る事に例えられ 『川を渡りなば舟を投げ捨つるべし』と教えられる。 これが難しい。(笑)

方便とは言え刀を振回し五年十年と修行して来た揚句、それを投捨て意識の中から抹消するなどと言うのは書込む事よりよ程難しい。 果して刀も方便も無く出発し、どこかに到着する事が有るのか? 無から出発し無に到達し得るものか? (で、皮肉なことに実はどこにも到達しない、それこそが禅,と言うのが禅らしい。

古来より行なわれている修行はぐるぐるとひたすら歩く事ですが、人は元々無意識でも歩ける。それをわざわざ修行と名付け意図的にやらせ、しかもやっている将にその事を意識の中から抹消させようとする矛盾。 逆に言えばそれを教えた人自身、実は無私無心という境地に達してはいなかったのではと疑わせます。(禅の観念にこだわっている師匠が考えそうな事ですよ)

ーーーもちろんそうした徹底した無意識化、無私化が無い訳ではありません=彫刻家のノミがあたかもそれ自身で動き出し、ノミと石だけの対峙になると言うのも在るし、形は元々石の中に在った(つまり『アタシが彫ったのではない』)と言うのはしばしば聞く。 (しかしここまで行くのは大変です。ーーーまァ精々やることで、それが平常心と言うモノ。 だからこそ犬のクソと言われるのです)

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禅などと大上段に振かぶったものではなく単なる日常を平常のものとして丁寧に生活していく=そのうちに何故かその日常の手順がえらく軽やかでなめらかなものになっていくーーーそれで充分なのです。 (別に禅を極めたからといって閻魔大王に褒めてもらえる訳でも無いしそもそもあの世なんてものも無い。 生きているうちに充実した日常を送る事が肝心)  

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What on Photography

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Although it was a bit cropped, still this was a quite wide-angle view (18mm) of a morning sky, and this was more or less the view what we are actually seeing = in other words, this IS a faithful representation of the view = and that was what we expect to a photo.  —– So, the Photo IS a COPY of the subject, therefore if the subject wasn’t there in the first place, the Photo couldn’t exist neither.  And may be because of that, the Photo competition prohibit the Photoshopped photo.   Photo has to stay as a faithful secondary image of the subject.

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And this is the image of the same sky, taken by the other camera at about the same moment of the photo on top.

So, this is a tricky situation. This photo above may be seen to be an illegal image using a ready-made digital effect, so-called “Filter” such as in a smart phone.

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But this is the natural character of the lens.  From the common sense, this images may not to be regarded a Photo still, this IS the image, straight out of the photographic device / camera.  (Downsized to 1200x*** and collaged by Picasa in my XP laptop)

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They were the images out of Sony A7R with so-called Helicoid (B) lens. —– If the photography was a mean to express oneself, those photos may have my feeling which evokes much deeper into your subconscious.  And they were not by the ready-made effect but only one of the kind in the world. (Whether you like it or not.)   😀

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Helicoid Lens (B)

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Helicoid Lens (B) is a sister of (A).  Both came from the same Sony Zoom lens and I’m using the same size helicoid which I got from China.

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So, this 18~200 Zoom lens became the SZ lens and the Helicoid A and B.  Well done.

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Lens was tested while temporally fixed on the camera using plastic pate, such as whether the lens should be used reversed or not, and with smaller Iris etc. (Photo middle) In order to adjust the infinity, lens was fixed on a M42 to M39 adaptor ring on the M42 to AI (Nikon) mount adaptor. —– after the infinity point was found, the position was fixed with super-glue. (Photo right)

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It seems this lens was an aspherical as the funny shaped reflection on the surface suggests. (Photo left)  This helicoid extends from 17mm to 32mm and the Lens which got about 35mm focal length can focus from infinity to 15cm close-up.  And the calculation from the exposure reading, the brightness seemed to be F2.2.

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Though, this lens is having very strong aberration. ( Astigmatism ?) —– same as the Lens (A), the center wasn’t too bad but image quality was one of the worst = which I appreciate a lots.  😀     (It’s so rare to find this kind of image in the photography because, nobody design the lens like this for sale.)

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(Photo here above, Left was the (B) lens in its finished looks — looks cool isn’t it ?   😀  And the right showed the Lens’ closest view, which showed its softness for comparison.)

For impressionistic fuzzy image, the poorer the lens quality, the image looks more interesting. (I think / and that was where Pinhole Photography stands) —– strangely, the close up image was rather sharp. (I mean its center was) (Photo right)  —– Whatsoever, I’m quite happy with its outcome.   😀

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Helicoid Lens (A)

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While hibernating in the winter (because, I can’t go ski kind, let alone climbing the mountain, = still have to do something — I made yet another homemade Lenses. (this time using a focusing helicoid sold in the net.)

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In the political stance, I should re-use other old camera’s lens barrel kind though, they may not come when I want.  So, I bought some focusing helicoids from China such as 12~17mm, 17~35mm, 36~90mm, mostly M42 fitting.  (M42 rear mount / Pentax screw mount can be easily converted to Nikon, Canon, Sony-E with a simple (and cheap) adapter.)

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And the lens I used was came from broken Sony zoom lens. (In the center of the photo above, two of the small lenses)

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So, the game starts = how to fix a small irregular shaped lens to the helicoid.   In here, cut a card-board paper to the shape (Photo left) and mount into an empty filter ring (Photo middle) — and 52mm filter ring was mounted to the helicoid. (Photo right) = to test and check if the infinity focus can be made. —– (this approach failed)

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And in here, another lens was temporally mounted on a helicoid with soft plastic patty (Photo left) —– Photo middle showed the lens on the previous photo was screw mounted to an aluminium ring which was epoxy fixed on to the 52mm filter ring, and to the helicoid, then to the camera body. (Photo middle and right) —– (For clarity sake, those photos were taken before the mat-black paint was applied

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This lens, with about 65mm focal length has an Iris ! —– though, the image made by this lens was too bad (except pretty good center) and the effect of the Iris was not much help.  😀

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So, they are the images. (Looks hopeless coma aberration)

My attempt to make homemade lens has been having funny paradox, while making the lens DIY, the image quality was just fuzzy and poor, —– yet still, I’ve been trying to make it somewhat usable. —– ? ? ?    Then the “Enlightenment” came which was “Why not”  It IS the nature of the lens = bad lens makes bad image.  What’s wrong ?  The top photo here was made by this, Helicoid Lens (A) —– I think, this bad image was not too bad.  I like this painterly effect.  Don’t you agree ?  (It seems, the Japanese Zennists are visiting here.   So, those “Play with lenses” are also the demonstration of the “Mind game in Zen”=  “liberate yourself from a stucked mind” “Why not”    Ha ha ha.   😀 )

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Flow-chart of Buddhism Teachings (2)

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Past 7~8 days or so, the access to the post “Flow-chart of the Buddhism Teachings” has been suddenly increased, seemingly access from either Japan and/or India.   I’m very grad to see my blog has been appreciated over there.  After all, the Buddhism originated from India though, my interpretation of it must be utterly new if not crazy to them.   Still, so far I received no criticism let alone a denial.  (May be because I was talking about the Physiological / Neurological facts which anybody did know and able to understand. —– or, because nobody ever connected a repeating simple work on the boring job (of which you are doing it without emotion) to the Zen Buddhism Mushin / Selfless state, it was just out of imagination.) 

So, I reblog the original post with a bit of additional explanation.

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Flow-chart or the Steps in the Pathway

1) Do anything which has a fixed pattern. (Each sect has their own, such as chanting the name of sutra,  banging a drum, walk round and round etc. And you can do your own, such as cutting a lemon.  😀 )

2) By doing it repeatedly, 100s, 1000s even million times.

3) Because the nerve signal dealing with its action has the same pattern, our Perception and Emotion’s threshold level rose, hence the significance of the signal will be lost and disregarded.

4) As the action has been repeated, its pattern will be programmed into Motor-region of the brain and the action become automatic routine.

5) With the effects of 3) and 4), the action can be carried-out without thinking, even out of one’s conscious.

6) In the same time of 5), the one doing the action without one’s conscious mean, it is in the Selfless state of the mind.

7) Once the one is in its Selfless state, the things become distant objects as if it is somebody-else’s matter, = Detachment = the one’s Ego or Greed wouldn’t be triggered.

8) To apply the same state of mind to other aspects of the life, the one can see everything in distance = objectively = Clear eyes.   (Gradually, the one would acquire this, and once mastered it, it become free to control, — detach or not, or which one to concentrate or ignore.)

9) And the one can see even the Self detached, objectively, as if it is one of the public, the social action start to follow common-sense, not self-centred.  (Centring self isn’t there)

10) And able to act or help others without Ego and do the things as much as possible. (Strangely, we instinctively do it better !  Even if it is not in competition with others and even to useless things, it’s mean, it’s not for Ego or Greed. —– but for the Fundamental Pleasure to be a man ? 🙂 )

11) From those aspects, it is rational to conclude, Ego itself is not one’s imperative, so is the Self. = Self is not naturally exists but a product of one’s imagination or thinking.  (so called delusion)

12) Without having the Self, Ego and Greed which tend to creates trouble and discontent = could any suffering be left ?

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It must be clear from this chart, all the process is pretty natural as it follows the natural mechanism inherent to our brain which is common to anybody, so that

Lord Buddha concluded that the Dharma which rules us is Selfless and as it is common to anybody, in other words, all of us has the Dharma within and Selfless.

— And it become clear, the so-called Rules of “Do this and Don’t Do that” had been written by the  person who hadn’t actually done the practice to reach Selfless state by himself, hence, didn’t have a knowledge how the human mind naturally works.  (Real selfless person need no instruction, nor such instruction would stay in the mind. 😀 )

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It must be clear. —– Is there any argument ?

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PS : Though, in addition to this Chart, applying the context of “denial” not only to the Self and suffering life, but to the “Idea of Denial” itself, therefore, instead of being enlightened, “being suffering” seems to be more natural = and this idea became the stance of Mahayana Buddhism. —– Hence, Zen says “To see NO enlightenment is the Enlightenment”

= (Anyway, no Self = Who is going to be enlightened = what’s the matter = Nothing ! )

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Halina Wide or its lens

Often I’ve been using a term “Junk” or “Toy Camera” quite casually, despite of a bit of guilty   conscious.    Many years ago, once I strongly complained to Nikon, when they produced a (relatively) cheap Nikon EM with its back-light compensation button in blue plastic (it really looks cheap plastic) I said to them (to the boss of Nikon UK) “Don’t make cheap camera looks cheap” “Although, it is cheap, for the young student from a poor back ground, it must be an affordable limit, and their dream and the treasured possession” “Make it looks cheap and make them feel shabby wouldn’t create the future of Nikon any good return”= so, they changed the button to chrome colored. —– Yes for some people, so-called Toy Camera was still only a camera they could afford. 

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On the photo, you may see 4 of the Canon EFS 18~55 — in fact I had 2 more which I’ve completely taken down to the pieces for study or use the motor etc. for the other purpose (such as this front element or that).

People may misconceived that a kind of the work I’ve been doing, it must be done in a well equipped proper workshop. (Quite few people thought I got a Lathe machine, even a Laser Cutter.)  They were wrong, the works were done in my kitchen mostly by a hacksaw.  (if it was a very dusty work, done in a bath tub (without water of course)

halina2-1 Forget a political correctness kind —– the reality IS, the cheap camera which end-up in an odds-ends box as a junk was just made by an ABS plastic mold + plastic parts = nothing like each mechanical unit was assembled on the metal frame like a more expensive counterpart.    So, to disassemble a junk camera meant hacksaw the area I need to gauged out from the lest. 

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Then, gauged out lens unit (in this case 2 plastic lenses) was temporally attached on the camera to see the exact position. (Photo left)   And test mount the lens unit on the camera body cap. (Photo middle)  On the end, this is the finished product. (Photo right)

While toiling with such hard work, what sort of the image could be created ?   In reality, nothing special or rather say, it’s a crap.

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Not necessary the infinity, but this is a far enough distant objects.   Tree twig looks twig = seems OK.

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And without having refocus (no such things here), the subjects, a meter or so looks like what we are seeing.  May be this is the point, we are amazed.  (Really ? !)

Wait a moment, think again.  A lens of 28mm (for full frame) would have rather large depth of field.  Say, fix the distance to 1.7m and set the aperture for F8, the subjects from 0.8m to somewhat 20m (almost “far”) would be (regarded to be) in focus. 

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So, this IS the image made by a lens (Canon EFS 18~55) fix to 28mm, 1.7m and F8.

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And this IS the close distance image made by the same lens without chang anything. (focus was still 1.7m)

It must be clear, so-called omunifocus is not necessary an amazing phenomenon. Here is a very simple common sence in photography = Stopped down wide-angle lens can shoot anything.  (But the trouble IS, it would make the photo looks messy — to express, the less is more)   🙂

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WW Party on the Boat

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WW gathering (some says, it is Wireless Workshop, others say Wednesday Workshop or Wireless Wednesday ? ? ? = since it started as a group hacking into 2.4 GHz Wireless Data link) had a party in a Pub in the Westminster, and to go there we took a boat on the Thames river.

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So, from Greenwich Pier we took a boat TRS (Thames River Service).    It was still 4:30 though, it was already after sunset = night voyage.    How fancy !

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And we arrived to the Westminster = its mean the foot of Big-ben.

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After that, not much to show.  😀

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By the way, a white dot on the right end was the Super full moon ! —– though don’t ask any better picture.  The lens was a junk (£5) Canon EFS 18~55 lens on Sony A7 camera — ( it’s mean no F-aperture control = fully open.)   And the shake of the images were not because of the moving ship or I was drunk,  I purposely made them for a sake of the art = believe me.     He he he.    😀

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Thinking process

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Sorry, it’s about that bellows again.  — behind the apparent shape and its function, that Sony Tilt attachment has many hidden structures and the stories, such as the bottom of A7R camera, additional plate was screwed. Because the device’s constant adjustment = rotation, the plate protect the camera bottom scratched.  And the hard alumium plate has anodized hard surface, which would prevent the two aluminium parts stack together.

You may not able to guess how the bag bellows was made and attached to the mount of both side.  Imagine, if the leather bag was made separately, how you can attach it to the mount (Body side was a camera body cap and the lens side was the back of the front panel with Canon EF mount attached.)  = In order to have the precise position of the mount, a length of black leather was first glued to each mount ring.  Then the leather was folded to the position and stitched together to make a closed bag.  (Because the tilt movement is only one side, the bag was made wedged shape.)

When we make (design) something, there are two different approach.     One is to imagine the final piece in the brain first. And cut the material in each size and shape then assemble altogether.   And the other is, bring the major material to the place and find the size and shape etc on the spot while giving many considerations.  So that the making process is step by step.

(Sound somewhat out of context, you may think though)  The Buddhist’s approach is the later.  Lord Buddha loathe to rely on the imagination, hence he didn’t teach notions, even not rely on the words.  Because  he taught the Karma = everything exists and moves following the Karma.   The sign or agent of the Karma are on front of us and they are keep changing moment to moment.  Perceive all those Karma and intuitively follow them will be the least troublesome life we can have. (Intuitive mean, without having “thinking” self = Selfless = be in the Void = with Dharma)    This is the reason why we have to deal with the things on front of us.  If not on there, its mean, it exists in the thinking or imagination.   So, to make a thing on the spot, while finding the precise dimension and the requirement is the right approach to do.   (It’s not against the nuclear scientists designing particle collider — we may not able to see the particles or tela gauss magnetic force by our eyes still, they are there. = Scientists intuitively count its effect in.) —– In this world, there is no ideal remedy or solution (which was a product of imagination or fantasy) but only practical measure applied on the spot, moment to moment. (You might have seen or remember that all the so-called  “ology / ism” has been bankrupted leaving immeasurable destruction behind ! )

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