Yoshizen's Blog

Feeling – Heart – Mind – Thinking

Because of its nature of ambiguity, what going in the depth of our Mind has no clear picture or even the defined notion or name.  Nevertheless, we are using a kind of the name for the sake of convenience.  And, we are using a kind of words to describe each Psychological phenomena.   So, from the murky deep to clear conscious, we named each of them such as to Feeling, Heart, Mind, Thinking. 

With the advancement of the technology and the medical science, the research and the understanding toward those mechanism of the psychological phenomena were becoming clear day by day.  And the development of experimental psychology is started to show quite new fact and the reality. 

One of the experiment, which was — the two group of the volunteer was given the Adrenalin hormone (so, the blood pressure rose and the heart started pounding) and one group was told by a decoy volunteer as “I heard we are going to have a  pretty funny game after this. So, I’m very excited” and the other group heard the other decoy murmuring that “I heard that the after effect of this experiment could be very bad. I’m very much worried of this”  On the after interview, the first group told that he (she) was very excited with the expectation of fun.  But the second group answered that they felt fear.

—– The same physiological effect = risen blood pressure and pounding heart was felt by the first group as a joyful excitement.   But the second group felt it was a tension of a fear. = Each were biased to the opposite direction by the dubious suggestions.  So, the feeling could be as simple as the balance of the chemical, same as too much acid in the stomach.  And to figure it out (with the biased expression) “I’m very heavy” is your heart.  Then, describe it with more objective words “I feel very heavy” is your mind.  And you might started to think “Should I take a pil ?”

Ambiguous shadow in the deep, may not have any holy truth.   Neither Carl Jung kind of romantic belief not mention Freud’s delusion.  (Now those kind of so-called “Psychology” was dead long since = simply because no such memory device which hold like Oedipus Complex etc or unconscious memory was found under MRI —– all those were our own creation inspired by the learned story in the daily life = same as a Dream.)    So, the unconscious mind = “Heart” might be just an unsorted complication of the chemical mix. —– As you know, when you feel so crazy and hot in love, the reality was that you were just filled with Oxytocin and Dopamine in your blood. = So, you feel its urge, still as it was nothing to do with any logic or hi-level thinking, you can not describe its factor or reason in word. (In fact, if you could describe it, you were not in love but just observing third party !) —– We call such invisible drive or a vector as the Heart.   😀



修行での矛盾 — Paradox in Zen Practice

しかし禅の修行とは何か? そもそも禅とは何か? しかし禅が何であるかを答えたとしたら、それは禅ではないし、答える事自体が既に禅では無い。  


禅習得の足しになる方便は武道とか芸事など色々在り、それぞれの技能の習得、その進歩が目に見え体で感じられたりするので修行としたら大変都合が良い。 ---しかし、その都合良さに惑わされてしまうと、まるで禅と呼ばれるたいそうな事でもやっているような錯覚に陥る。

禅は神経生理上、シグナル(入力情報)が情動域(主に偏桃体)の関与無しに自動的に処理されるようになるので (情動域が『私の』というタグを付ける事で『我』=エゴ、欲、自己保存意識が発生する = 逆に言えば情動域が無視するような、害も無い反復シグナルを送り続けると情動域は無感覚になり入力を運動域などに直通させるようになる) 例えば武道においては恐怖のためらい無く、体が無意識に反応して神技のように動いたり、習い事で目をつぶったままでも完璧な所作が出来るようになったりする。 しかしここで生じる問題は、体や意識がその行に特定されてしまうという事です。(武道の奧義に達したからと言って禅の達人になるとは限らないーーー実在する奥義の後に禅が在ると思いがちですが、在ると思うのは禅などと言う観念に捕われた妄想に過ぎません。何故ならそのような観念すら存在しないのが禅なのですから) 

しかし刀も持たず、対峙する相手もない状態で、---例えば己自身に対してどれだけ無心になれるか? そもそも刀が無かったら己はここまで来ていたか? 

禅の修行はしばしば川を渡る事に例えられ 『川を渡りなば舟を投げ捨つるべし』と教えられる。 これが難しい。(笑)

方便とは言え刀を振回し五年十年と修行して来た揚句、それを投捨て意識の中から抹消するなどと言うのは書込む事よりよ程難しい。 果して刀も方便も無く出発し、どこかに到着する事が有るのか? 無から出発し無に到達し得るものか? (で、皮肉なことに実はどこにも到達しない、それこそが禅,と言うのが禅らしい。

古来より行なわれている修行はぐるぐるとひたすら歩く事ですが、人は元々無意識でも歩ける。それをわざわざ修行と名付け意図的にやらせ、しかもやっている将にその事を意識の中から抹消させようとする矛盾。 逆に言えばそれを教えた人自身、実は無私無心という境地に達してはいなかったのではと疑わせます。(禅の観念にこだわっている師匠が考えそうな事ですよ)

ーーーもちろんそうした徹底した無意識化、無私化が無い訳ではありません=彫刻家のノミがあたかもそれ自身で動き出し、ノミと石だけの対峙になると言うのも在るし、形は元々石の中に在った(つまり『アタシが彫ったのではない』)と言うのはしばしば聞く。 (しかしここまで行くのは大変です。ーーーまァ精々やることで、それが平常心と言うモノ。 だからこそ犬のクソと言われるのです)


禅などと大上段に振かぶったものではなく単なる日常を平常のものとして丁寧に生活していく=そのうちに何故かその日常の手順がえらく軽やかでなめらかなものになっていくーーーそれで充分なのです。 (別に禅を極めたからといって閻魔大王に褒めてもらえる訳でも無いしそもそもあの世なんてものも無い。 生きているうちに充実した日常を送る事が肝心)  





Maple flowers


Maple tree outside (said to be Oregon Maple though, I’m not sure) is having flowers.


They don’t looks like flowers still, they must be.  As they produce the two-winged seed later.   And it seems they can pollinate themselves (or blown by the wind ?) as I don’t see any insect around.  —– There are many forms of life. (not only cherry is the flower.   😀

(Those photos were taken by Tamron 500 mm F8 mirror lens though, as it was done through the dusty double grazed window, the image was not sharp at all.)


Two weeks later, how they looks now.  Though, I haven’t necessary been kept watching all the process how their tangled red things changed to this.  Photo above left might be the female flower and the right might be the male — but not sure. (Yes, I was wrong)


You believe or not, the one above photo, the right one was taken by 1000 mm lens.  In fact, a x2 tele-converter was added to Tamron 500 mm lens. = Long time ago I bought this £5 converter as a joke, thinking to make it for a close-up ring by removing the optics.  But now I know, this was not a junk.   With x2 converter, F8 lens become F16, so that on DSLR’s optical view finder it become too dark to focus. (Unless we use live-view on the back screen)   But, mirror-less camera can show the amplified bright image, even focus-peaking is working ! = It’s their biggest advantage.   (still, 1000 mm lens was not suite for hand-held shot.)   😀      (Since I found their dropped flowers, I’ll show you =  You  can see them developing to the full winged seed.)  Then I remember, one of my Zeiss lens for Sony showed AF malfunction (hence, I realized that’s was why it was so cheap) I gave another look. = While making a test shot on manual focus.


The picture here was by Zeiss (Sony) SEL55F18Z (55mm) Aperture was set to F8 (about 1/100 sec, hand held) and to show the enlarged center as well — pretty good isn’t it !  (By the way, Winged Seed pod right was the same pod wrongly appeared as Male, before.  Well nobody is perfect.  😀 ) 


But, it might be too unfair to the other lens.  I did the same test by Micro Nikkor 55 mm F3.5 = this was the lens, the Nikon themselves named that “their best lens ever designed.” (Canon EF gives  no F-setting on Sony (unless use a £100 Sigma adapter)  and the others such as Contax, Pentax, Olympus, etc, I would give sometime another occasion.  😀 )  —– If we use the lens careful enough, and the camera has Hi-res sensor (Nikon D850 has 47.2 Mp / Sony A7R has 32 Mp ) they could produce pretty good image, without using a heavy tele-photo lens. (Just crop the picture.  Forget the “Purist’s brah brah kind”)  Anyway, Net is for harmless / useless info’chat or Joke.  😀



Self — Subconsciousness

With the incredible advancement of the technology, medical science etc, now we are becoming aware what is the Self in totally different aspect. (Though, those stories were based on the net news, Youtube kind = second, third source.  Take this lightly.)

With the forefront study of the monocular biology and the brain science using MRI kind of scanning = observing the activity of the brain, in relation to the internal flora of the bacteria, virus, even the parasite in our guts, are becoming clear. —— Why guts and the brain is linked ? you may say, = those organism in our guts are making many chemicals and those are circulating in our blood and reaching, affecting the brain, and the emotion, even high level decision-making and the behavior pattern.

You might heard the story of the parasite who manipulates the brain of ant to go top of a grass, in order to be eaten by a sheep, then lay their eggs there and it will be spread by the sheep’s droppings then go into the ant again = So, this cycle will be repeated and continues. —– those organisms can produce quite sophisticated chemicals, enzymes which can manipulate even our brain’s thinking and the emotion.  Though, who designed this incredible system is nothing but THE mystery.

Our mood, emotion which affects our thinking, behavior could easily be influenced by those chemicals, brain transmitters, hormones. (Though, we may not know what IS the condition of “Without” = co-havitating bacteria and its chemicals could be the NORM of our existence.) = Remember, “Mitochondria” in our body-cells, they are in fact, just co-havitating foreign organism = we didn’t create them = they got their own DNA !

Long since, we human has been using the term / words, such as Guts Feeling, Intuition etc = we can not clearly know but only vaguely feel the effect, the invisible influence or resulting deep mind, which we call “Subconsciousness” —– IS in reality, a result of the balance of the neuro hormones include the chemicals from those bacteria, parasite, and not much to do with spirituality.  So, true Self could be a product of the bacteria or parasite you are harboring in your guts.  Sound great isn’t it ?    😀


Twilight in Greenwhich

Twilight(1)-DSC07350It was a rather murky twilight moment in Greenwich.  That’s all.













Looks rather normal picture was taken by so-called Fun Lens.  Fuzzy images were taken by the Gaudy Lens, and if it was very fuzzy, they were done by the Mag Lens —– but I don’t think you ever bother to know.   😀




Autumn Color

Fall Color(1)-DSC07415

Those photos were taken by a single glass homemade lens, called Gaudy Lens on Sony A7R Camera —– you may wonder why needed to use High spec’ camera = the matter was not the spec’ but its small size.   😀

Fall Color(2)-DSC07422

Fall Color(3)-DSC07437

Fall Color(4)-DSC07439

Fall Color(5)-000

Fall Color(6)-001

Fall Color(7)-DSC07462

Fall Color(8)-002

Fall Color(9)-DSC07456

This last photo was by the Mag’ Lens, not by Gaudy Lens —– any way looks the same = doesn’t matter.  As those both lenses got a lots of halation, picture never looks sharp.    Yes that’s what I wanted. = I just wanted atmosphere, or Impression.   In that requirment, those lenses are doing good job.   😀


Nov’ Moon

Nov' moon-000

It seems, in any society star-gazer was accepted, a bit funny but a kind of romantic still, no harm to the other people.  But, the moon watcher was categorized as a loony and not necessary welcomed by the people.  I don’t think I’m a moon watcher, neither be a loony, so far as it was self-declared.  

I don’t necessary want to see the moon but time to time it comes to the window regardless.  In fact, the photo left took a while for me to realize, that it was a moon (2 days before the New moon. = on 17 Oct’ 2017) and the right photo was taken 1st Nov’. —– the reason why it’s having shadow was, the moon was behind the tree. —– In such condition, did I still need to take picture ?    Ain’t I obsessed ? —– I didn’t feel I got ANY obligation to do so though, I just did it again.  😀     It was very simple, the moon was there. (Strange things was, the camera, Sony A7R with 500 mm mirror lens was on a monopod. —– ISO 3200, 1/1000 sec F8)

(To tell you the truth, there was a serious danger of this post having yet more photo of the full moon which was briefly appeared next night —– though it disappeared behind the cloud soon.)  Sigh !   😀

Nov' Full moon-002

Your nightmare has come.   It’s a full moon taken on the 4th Nov’, but left photo was taken by Canon EF 70~200 mm at 200 mm, F2.8 on Sony A7R (F2.8, 1/1000 sec)  and the right photo was by Canon 5D MkIII (F8, 1/500 sec) Both hand held. —– They showed the situation quite well, using the same lens even fully open F2.8, mirrorless A7R can make sharper image. 

—– The story behind was, when I heard bang bang noise, I realized that it was the Firework night.  As I saw a big one on the window, I took the camera out with 200 mm Zoom on though, that big one seemed to be the last one. = How shame !  Then, I found the Full moon !  Without bothering to get 500 mm out, I took the moon with 200 mm lens — and I’ve tested the same lens on A7R too.  Very very funny.


Cause and Effect

Generally the eastern people tend to take the fatalistic view toward the occurrences on the life.  So the words Cause and the Effect having more fatalistic meaning to them.   Even if it looks just a rational consequence, easterner take it in fatalistic.   So that when a rock musician died with over dose of narcotic or drink drive, people feel less sympathetic and think it is natural and suits to the person.

What I found the reason of this WAS, unlike the Disney designed character (which was modelled Gilgamesh Myth) of the Western God which decision is not absolute but negotiable, —– but the Ether like Eastern God (? or Heaven itself) spread everywhere, penetrate everywhere IS inescapable, its mean if anybody made wrong, its Effect = punishment is must and Fatal. —– This IS what easterner feel their absolute God and the inescapable Fate. = So, they become a Fatalist. 

(In contrast, you need play hard to take attention of  the Western God who is busy over-worked to take whole population single-handed. = what a poor man !   😀 —– When Jesuit missionary came to Japan, Japanese asked “If your God is such almighty, why he can’t speak Japanese ?” = Hence, they failed to colonialize Japan.  Not only that, Dutch ( = Protestant who only think about a business) took a lots of Japanese girls to the west and sold as a slave = So, they became a hate figure.  Missionary took a free ride on those ships. = too bad for telling a God’s Blessing. = Who could trust such God !)

BBC seems to have the special anniversary programs to tribute to the late cellist, Jacqueline du-Pre who died 30 years ago.   Too early death to such talented musician seems to be so unfair. ( = exact opposite to a junky rocker. )    Its mean, we are expecting a kind of bias towards what happens on our life.  Not a simple cause and its effect.  Sometime get away without receiving any consequence or expect others to get much heavier retribution.  (That’s what we call self-centered Ego ! )  You may feel strange though, I may not hold the position to talk about this subject in the neutral stance. 

A while ago, I found a blog telling the man encountered severe storm in the mountain from first day till the end.  (By its route, they couldn’t have any other choice but to go ahead even under such condition —– It must be his fate, why he went to the mountain in such timing.)   I thought, A,Ha ! the man is receiving the “Good treatment after what he has done”—- Suddenly the story goes back 50 years !  This man did quite nasty things in the mountain, intended to make me collapse though I had the strongest physics among the members (in comparison to a student amateur climber, I was the almost professional mountain keeper as a keeper of the shelter = carrying up, up to 200 kg of food staff every week on the back etc)  So, I just carried on walking —– in the evening, the man got Snow-blind and became camp bound without able to open the eyes with severe pain for the rest of the week. 

Palm Line-000Literally on the other hand, I got a so-called mystic cross in my palm = I was born to be psychic and having the protection.  —– (I fallen twice on the rock without any injury.  I broke two skis but no injury either.  I don’t get ill nor need to take any medicine. Eat anything yet no alcohol or drag, no smoking, no woman — ) Somebody said I’m out of the Karma or even out of Cause and the Effect.  —– (And the other made a joke, if there is no self, even the Effect couldn’t find where to go ! —– Good joke ! )   😀 

* * * * *

 Then gave a thought, —– this joke might have some truth.   If you ARE clinging “You” = the SELF, you are quite conscious what you did and aware, there must be a certain reaction, Effect coming back.  But, if you ARE not a typical Greedy EGO person, naturally, your action = Cause may not be a kind of greedy act, nor forcing your dominance to others = therefore the reaction, the Effect can not be such hard, and if you were not such self-conscious Me Me Me person, you may not even noticed that Effect was aimed to you.  Being Selfless, you can have much quiet, peaceful life indeed ! = It’s not a joke.  😀  —– So, I might be ignoring many things while thinking  “It’s nothing to do with me” = I think, this kind of person would get no ill. 

In contrast, a person you might know, who is having a kind of ill-health and keep complaining about him (or her) self of the health, the daily feelings and conditions and so on —– it’s really questionable, was that his own ill-health making him thinking and talking, OR his mind, too much conscious and worrying about, making him ill-health ? —– Which IS Causing it ? ? ?

Look, a lots of things in the life were in fact, own making.   It was not because of the Fate, but to born to be the person who makes it WAS the Fate.   As you ARE causing its Fate, you can change.  It’s so simple, just stop, don’t cause it.


Buddha Anime by Osamu Tezuka

In the mountain of Youtube viz, I don’t know how I came to this anime film.  Any how, I watched this viz while skipping a part to part.  Why I did skip was that I knew somewhat about Buddha’s story therefore I could see whether the part was an add-on or other legend or fantasy etc —– in fact, the viz was almost nothing to do with real Gautama Buddha but a story of a boy called Chabla and the military conflict between the Magadha and the neighboring Kosala kingdom. 

The young Gautama was portrayed as a boy troubled with the reality of the life, the sufferings to have an illness, getting old and to die. (not much else, despite the viz spent almost all to a matter of social discrimination = misery to born as a slave )

The author Osamu Tezuka was in fact a PhD in Bio-physics alongside to be the legendary comics writer.  He had a profound knowledges toward the ocultic practices and the belief such as the Boodo etc, so to the Buddhism stories, fantasies.  Yet still something even disturbing me was that the amazing extent of the rack of the understanding toward the Gautama’s mind. —– how he started to cast a doubt to his own position and decided to leave.  Tezuka could have given a much deeper observation toward the Brahmanism dominant society = social cast, idea of the fate = how the man will born and live = not just a superficial phenomena of sufferings but the deeper, fundamental cause determining the human life. 

So, what I found was = its a waste of the time. = Don’t bother with this anime.  😀   (Ask Dalai Lama, how to convert the animals to the Buddhists or which Mantra could make a bird to follow a Holly man even if non of Mantra could stop the killing of Kosala soldiers. —– Since the mother Maya bore the Prince (Gautama) who would become the King of the World, at least the Magada should become a peaceful country away from the royals killing each other.  = Too many nonsense.  —– The most bizarre nonsense was a story, a rabbit offer himself as a grilled meat to a Holly man by threw himself into a fire. = To show an ultimate self-sacrifice ? ‰ ! ‰ ? ! = What a laugh.   😀 )    In stead, you may find the other viz called Hi-no-Tori 火の鳥 more interesting.  They ARE worth spend the days to watch.  The great epics continued on and on with the idea of reincarnation = its mean, Tezuka was thinking the Buddhism mixed-up with Hinduism and he lived in a fantasy world. ( = after all, that was what the children’s cartoon comics IS ! —- I don’t think you expect to learn anything serious from a cartoon comics.  😀 )

Against the Hindu, Vedic idea of the reincarnation, endless chain of the sufferings, Lord Buddha found the principle of the Cause and Effect = Body was the Cause and the Mind / Self was the Effect —– When a body cease, the Mind / Self will cease too. = Nothing to be reborn !    This was the idea only taught by Lord Buddha.  There were hundreds of Hindu, Vedic Guru who was saying the reincarnation but the teachings of Lord Buddha was the revolutionary.    It was really the liberation from a false belief of endless sufferings.  (You may believe that you will reborn — to a beast, BUT that IS all false belief.  = When your SELF is not existing, WHO will reborn ?)   This was the Truth taught by Lord Buddha.


Heaven or God ?


I just found those photos in the net and I do know not more than any fact of what the photo was telling us. —– may be the photo was genuine = straight record of the aftermath, showing the remaining gate of the Shinto Shrine.


A person who found the photos must be utterly amazed hence just up loaded to the net.   As I have no information of original source, I have no idea whether the photo was taken by the professional journalist or just a passerby, let alone any fact whether the subject was intentionally picked up (such as the survey of all the Shinto Shrine — and the one / only one Torii kept standing — or one of many) or just a coincidence.

—– yet still, seeing one more photo, they convinced me that there IS something.  Think, you were a person who encountered it on the spot.  Even if you didn’t bend your knee there, you must felt a chill on your back and felt, something like Heaven or somebody like the God is there and showing their providence.  (But don’t blame, why send a tsunami or ask why save only a Torii, not the city.   😀  )

This is THE basis of the Japanese Shinto.  We don’t need a fishy sweet words telling the Next life.  We are seeing and keep feeling it IS there.  Unlike an intentionally created, invented idea of so-called God, the supernatural power, or Heaven IS a part of our native sentiment or so-called spirituality.   (That’s why only few % of Japanese is christian. = To the Japanese, Disney like personified God is a joke that’s why no Christian, still almost all of them believe the Rule of a cause and the consequence / the punishment return by the Heaven = that’s their spiritual Ethos.)  So, we don’t steal, nor riot because we know the heaven IS watching us, or living with us.  We don’t need to be told and learn “The idea of Morality” = we have it.  Idea was an invention in the brain.  Japanese Ethos is a part of how we were born.  (Well, ideally —– we have Yakuza too. (But you know, Yakuza’s own rule is as tight as in the army)   And, if you know them, they ARE also nice people.   Ha ha ha   😀 )



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