Yoshizen's Blog

Exploding Cinema or Firework


Last night was a so called Bonfire night and may be to coincide with it, a cinema session “Exploding Cinema” was held in south London.

I popped out carring A7R camera with a homemade “Mag lens” attached on it.   But as I saw the fireworks over a park,  soon I realized that I put a wrong lens. 

Mag lens makes the largest halation among my homemade lens = bright spot like firework become just a big blob.  Still, that’s what I got then, — never mind, it won’t kill me in any way.


Exploding Cinema has been running by the volunteers, film enthusiasts for the past 25 years.  (And I know the current figurehead, Matt for 20 odd years.  When I met him, he was a visual media technician and I was an almost a dancer in residents of the Fridge Club in Brixton.)  Exploding Cinema is showing all the films submitted without selecting, and running totally independent. (so that, the waiting list said to be more than one year to be shown there)



So, the films shown there were from short comical Anime to professionally made quite serious one. (A film produced by Chris R’s “Drone Strike” was a heavy staff good enough for the big screen.)


And MMM    🙂



When I popped out, the fireworks exploded over my head, —– I found, the lens character of big blob is quite pretty in deed.  Ha ha ha,   😀


Capricorns Ball

Last night, there was a party [Capricorns Ball] held in a Pub in Brixton.  In fact this party

started as a birthday party of the Capricorn people among the staffs or ex-staffs of the

Fridge Night Club,  and as a regular I was invited every year —– in the past 15 years or so !

May be an excuse to get together and get drank or annual reunion of the people who had

their youth in the Club  (I mean, while working —– I was only dancing though)   😀

And all the photos here were intended for the guest to download and copy,  if they want.



It’s nice to see the old faces, even though everybody is getting a bit older and having

different kind of life. (It’s really amazing, I acquainted many of them 20 years ago ! ! ! )





As a party in a pub,  Pub-quiz is in a menu—– this time, about the Capricorns  🙂

( I didn’t know our Emperor, I mean Japanese, is also Capricorns.)







And a birthday cake  🙂



The top two Quiz winner received Trophy = they are ecstatic with a joy  😀 


The each candle on the cake was blown by each Capricorns one by one.


Then, live gig. (Not necessary my kind of music —– still it’s OK )


I think it’s a nice photo !  (or, at least they think I’m a nice man. —– mind you, the camera

was only 10″  away from their faces)


The Capricorn Short cake was made by a young lady and the piece here said to be an

art installation created by another young lady = happen to be a Japanese though, too

young to know what the Fridge Club was  😀


This is not intended for a self portrait but a demonstration of how the lighting of those

photos were done. (Hand aimed bounce lighting).  By the way, something hang  from my

neck is one of my Disco Pendant = Sound-activated Flashing Pendant, I made 20 years ago

and been used in the Club almost every week. (I’ll talk about this design, in here soon)



Then, let’s dance  🙂


Despite the London having quite a snow and pretty cold though, number of people turned up. 

And it was a fabulous joyful night. 

Thanks to the Ex-Fridge Capricorns, work hard to organize this.


Desire and Greed (2)

The first moment when I became aware the connection between Zen and the programming

of the subconsciousness (so-called mind-set) was, when I gave up any relation with woman.

It was triggered by two factors appeared on 1987. One was the first report of incurable new disease AIDS

(it didn’t have even a name then) = sexual relation is no longer safe.

And the other was the start of a trouble with a woman who exploited my VISA status by a false registration

of the marriage done in Japan, in order to get new passport and obtained the VISA masqueraded as my wife.

(It took 11 hearing in the High Court to make the Judge to realize it really happened without my knowledge.

—– Japanese Registrar had no way to know whether my signature was genuine or not and the name seal

was mine or false one, woman bought in the stationery shop, which she confessed and astonished the Judge)

(Yet still The Judge who didn’t even know the difference of [Void and Voidable Marriage] made

this to a valid marriage, hence it was brought up to the Court of Appeal)

= I really utterly fed up “Woman is nothing but a trouble” (in addition to this Judiciary is utterly rotten) 😀

(Funny story is, I was told that the trouble with woman will happen, by my mother as she read

my palm when I was 10 years old —– for me,  it sounds just an unscientific mambo-jumbo then)


It caused me not only a deep psychological trauma but the situation itself made any relation impossible.

In order to fight over the validity of the marriage in the High Court and the Court of Appeal, it completely

consumed my time, finance and energy.  All of my friends were even amazed, how I could manage without

braking down.  ( Still,  it was not as heavy as mountain climbing as there may not be a danger of death.

After all, proceedings is the research of precedence and compiling documents = clerical work = Just do it )

—-whether it was my choice or not, I had to follow the situation and

think “I’m not in a position even to think about woman” = it was not a relative matter, but absolute

imperative = (this is so-called Mindfulness) — as this psyche sunk deep down to my subconscious, 

the notion of woman has disappeared and it became a distant land scape.

(Still, they are visually pretty land scape though,

they no longer appeal to my mind / in a sexual context —– then I realized

“Aha, this is the very eyes of so-called Medical Detachment of a Gynecologist” 😀 )


So that, when I was a regular in the Fridge Club, Brixton London (Escape from Samsara), every weekend

for nearly 6 years, I was just dancing there without mixing with cloud.

Many people mistook me as a special security or under-cover policeman even the owner of the club,

because I don’t take alcohol neither drug, never talk with girls (except the bar staff) still always there.

In reality, seeing hundreds of half-naked girls shaking their bottom every week, made me even more

insensitive, if not utterly nauseating.

I was there not just for dancing, but like a zoological researcher to observe male-female behavior.


As a matter of fact, I myself had amazed by this change of psyche.

Since, even the most fundamental instinct could disappear just with a mind-set,  it convinced me

that all the fancy stories in the martial art, sword mastery must be true = they really

able to overcome the fear of the death,  hence able to come closer to hair-line distance to the enemy’s sword.

—– Liberate the mind from the fear, hence able to obtain the ultimate freedom of the movements.

Then all the Zen stories, has started fallen into the places, like the pieces of Jigsaw Puzzle,

and it started to show whole picture of what the Zen is.

Zen is not an ideological / religious mambo-jumbo but a very logical / rational mind engineering.

—– As even the most fundamental instinct / sexual desire could be annihilated, why not any another desire or

the mind.   What is the point to be imprisoned by such desire or being obsessed and become greedy.

We can make ourselves free from any mind, idea or the situation, and able to choose what ever

better to do.   This freedom is the Enlightenment.

(But remember, don’t chose chocolate and junk food 😀 )


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