Yoshizen's Blog

Deeper into the Zen

Some of you, the keen followers might be wondering what this man is  talking about ?   And what would it to do with Zen ?

—– The fundamental question is, “If the Zen is to deal with the life in the absolutely empty mind =  in Mushin, (completely dispassionate, almost like a machine) —– Hey stop joking, which part of the brain is actuary handling it ? ”  (If somewhere the brain IS handling = with the intention to handle it, IS not Mushin but just not aware what he is doing, it’s a fraud ! )

How I came to here, you may find how our condition of the Guts (and the chemicals of its bacteria, parasites) influencing our “Feeling = Heart = Mind = ultimately the way of thinking”   We are not really in control. (Since this blog IS the live description of the DIY Zen research, I need to see the mechanism what makes the Zen as Zen —– in fact what IS so-called Zen ? = if any at all ?)

Now you must be convinced, that the so-called Zen teaching in the town IS fraud. Zen couldn’t be learned or taught, while saying Zen.  As long as the notion of Zen in mind, even if it was hidden in the deepest unconsciousness.  It IS not Zen.  I’ll show you “The legend = the Archer who try to reach Zen while learning Archery in Japan” in the next post. (If you like to start ahead, find a book and read it before hand = Zen in the Art of Archery : by Eugen Herrigel —– It’s a small book = 100 pages or so in a Penguin books)

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PS : I’ll explain you, my utterly strange Lens Making Game.  Do you think is there any complicated theory or creative notion ? —– Non at all.  It was the same process of the cutting a lemon.   In other word, a kind of work of Just Do It with a material I found then —– Imagine, do you think would it be any sophisticated philosophy or scientific theory behind ? = far from it, cutting minute depth of metal barrel to match the focus = IS the ZEN.  (I don’t have a skin thick enough to have a pretense to show-off “Copy the mantra” kind)   😀

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Cherry Cherry – 2018

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Since I put the photo of the first cherry, it’s already 3 weeks past.  They are still in full bloom though, the flowers started falling. The end of Somei-yoshino season.   (Then Multi petals cherry is coming.)

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So, this year’s Cherry pictures were made by “Helicoid-B” lens.  (One of the worst reputed lens ! = therefore in these days I’ve been using the most.   😀 )

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Without me shake even a single finger, the picture became almost trembled. ( = The technique to produce the paintary effect in the most economical way !     😀 )

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(Only the problem was that the image in the finder was too fuzzy to see the focus.)

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So, those two (three) photos were taken by a kind of normal lens = Tamron SP 500 mm Mirror lens. —— Somebody teased me saying “Can’t you take normal picture ?” “I leave that kind of business to the Phone camera user, otherwise no point for me to use bulky interchangeable lens camera”   😀

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Though, the Tamron gave me too pale color.  (May be I need to use Photoshop kind though, that’s what I hate most.)

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Feeling – Heart – Mind – Thinking

Because of its nature of ambiguity, what going in the depth of our Mind has no clear picture or even the defined notion or name.  Nevertheless, we are using a kind of the name for the sake of convenience.  And, we are using a kind of words to describe each Psychological phenomena.   So, from the murky deep to clear conscious, we named each of them such as to Feeling, Heart, Mind, Thinking. 

With the advancement of the technology and the medical science, the research and the understanding toward those mechanism of the psychological phenomena were becoming clear day by day.  And the development of experimental psychology is started to show quite new fact and the reality. 

One of the experiment, which was — the two group of the volunteer was given the Adrenalin hormone (so, the blood pressure rose and the heart started pounding) and one group was told by a decoy volunteer as “I heard we are going to have a  pretty funny game after this. So, I’m very excited” and the other group heard the other decoy murmuring that “I heard that the after effect of this experiment could be very bad. I’m very much worried of this”  On the after interview, the first group told that he (she) was very excited with the expectation of fun.  But the second group answered that they felt fear.

—– The same physiological effect = risen blood pressure and pounding heart was felt by the first group as a joyful excitement.   But the second group felt it was a tension of a fear. = Each were biased to the opposite direction by the dubious suggestions.  So, the feeling could be as simple as the balance of the chemical, same as too much acid in the stomach.  And to figure it out (with the biased expression) “I’m very heavy” is your heart.  Then, describe it with more objective words “I feel very heavy” is your mind.  And you might started to think “Should I take a pil ?”

Ambiguous shadow in the deep, may not have any holy truth.   Neither Carl Jung kind of romantic belief not mention Freud’s delusion.  (Now those kind of so-called “Psychology” was dead long since = simply because no such memory device which hold like Oedipus Complex etc or unconscious memory was found under MRI —– all those were our own creation inspired by the learned story in the daily life = same as a Dream.)    So, the unconscious mind = “Heart” might be just an unsorted complication of the chemical mix. —– As you know, when you feel so crazy and hot in love, the reality was that you were just filled with Oxytocin and Dopamine in your blood. = So, you feel its urge, still as it was nothing to do with any logic or hi-level thinking, you can not describe its factor or reason in word. (In fact, if you could describe it, you were not in love but just observing third party !) —– We call such invisible drive or a vector as the Heart.   😀

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修行での矛盾 — Paradox in Zen Practice

しかし禅の修行とは何か? そもそも禅とは何か? しかし禅が何であるかを答えたとしたら、それは禅ではないし、答える事自体が既に禅では無い。  

禅には問う事も無ければ答える事も無く実にそれが無くなった所に禅が在るのです。と言うより、元々禅などと言うものは存在していない。  

禅習得の足しになる方便は武道とか芸事など色々在り、それぞれの技能の習得、その進歩が目に見え体で感じられたりするので修行としたら大変都合が良い。 ---しかし、その都合良さに惑わされてしまうと、まるで禅と呼ばれるたいそうな事でもやっているような錯覚に陥る。

禅は神経生理上、シグナル(入力情報)が情動域(主に偏桃体)の関与無しに自動的に処理されるようになるので (情動域が『私の』というタグを付ける事で『我』=エゴ、欲、自己保存意識が発生する = 逆に言えば情動域が無視するような、害も無い反復シグナルを送り続けると情動域は無感覚になり入力を運動域などに直通させるようになる) 例えば武道においては恐怖のためらい無く、体が無意識に反応して神技のように動いたり、習い事で目をつぶったままでも完璧な所作が出来るようになったりする。 しかしここで生じる問題は、体や意識がその行に特定されてしまうという事です。(武道の奧義に達したからと言って禅の達人になるとは限らないーーー実在する奥義の後に禅が在ると思いがちですが、在ると思うのは禅などと言う観念に捕われた妄想に過ぎません。何故ならそのような観念すら存在しないのが禅なのですから) 

しかし刀も持たず、対峙する相手もない状態で、---例えば己自身に対してどれだけ無心になれるか? そもそも刀が無かったら己はここまで来ていたか? 

禅の修行はしばしば川を渡る事に例えられ 『川を渡りなば舟を投げ捨つるべし』と教えられる。 これが難しい。(笑)

方便とは言え刀を振回し五年十年と修行して来た揚句、それを投捨て意識の中から抹消するなどと言うのは書込む事よりよ程難しい。 果して刀も方便も無く出発し、どこかに到着する事が有るのか? 無から出発し無に到達し得るものか? (で、皮肉なことに実はどこにも到達しない、それこそが禅,と言うのが禅らしい。

古来より行なわれている修行はぐるぐるとひたすら歩く事ですが、人は元々無意識でも歩ける。それをわざわざ修行と名付け意図的にやらせ、しかもやっている将にその事を意識の中から抹消させようとする矛盾。 逆に言えばそれを教えた人自身、実は無私無心という境地に達してはいなかったのではと疑わせます。(禅の観念にこだわっている師匠が考えそうな事ですよ)

ーーーもちろんそうした徹底した無意識化、無私化が無い訳ではありません=彫刻家のノミがあたかもそれ自身で動き出し、ノミと石だけの対峙になると言うのも在るし、形は元々石の中に在った(つまり『アタシが彫ったのではない』)と言うのはしばしば聞く。 (しかしここまで行くのは大変です。ーーーまァ精々やることで、それが平常心と言うモノ。 だからこそ犬のクソと言われるのです)

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禅などと大上段に振かぶったものではなく単なる日常を平常のものとして丁寧に生活していく=そのうちに何故かその日常の手順がえらく軽やかでなめらかなものになっていくーーーそれで充分なのです。 (別に禅を極めたからといって閻魔大王に褒めてもらえる訳でも無いしそもそもあの世なんてものも無い。 生きているうちに充実した日常を送る事が肝心)  

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What ? — OMG, it’s Cherry flower

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On the street, I found a dropped Cherry flower.   —– ?    What ?   —– I looked up, OMG it was a cherry tree started to open the flowers.   Only few days ago, there was nothing.  It’s suddenly happened.  I picked up a dropped flower and a bud to bring back.

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I put the flowers on the water in a lens cap.  And took pictures.  (After a while, a bud opened as well) —– It was a kind of my habit in these days, which was to make the photos for comparison = the photo left above was taken by Sony 30 mm F3.5 Macro and the right was by Helicoid-B lens.

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So, this year’s first Somei-yoshino flowers were put next to the kitchen tap = In fact, this IS my photo studio.  (All the “Studio shot” in my Blog were taken in this “Studio” !    Another funny fact was — that all those homemade lenses were made in this kitchen work shop, and almost all of my sculptures were also produced in here.)  

It’s very simple, if we need to make, make it, or just do it.   There may not need to have any good-cause or theory or facility kind.  So, if you have a knife, you can cut.  With the same knife, you can cook as well.  If you can’t, you were just clinging an excuse of not to do or even worse you might be waiting somebody to push your back.   😀     (By the way, this is in deed the way of Zen = Zen need no cause or reason to do.  In fact Zen is to eliminate anything that kind.  Therefore Mushin (Mind of No mind) still, even a mind to think No-mind shouldn’t be there, = hence “Everyday’s Mind” (Heijo-shin 平常心). That’s why to able to be in the Everyday’s mind which is nothing special / peculiar  (is so ubiquitous as a dog shit) IS the Enlightenment. 

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Screen Copy by Fuzzy Lens

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The outside is still cold and not much flower, and, I’m not keen to take picture of cut flower = so, just took photo of a flower in my old post screen using very fuzzy Helicoid-B lens.

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When I try, I realized that the old screen of XP laptop makes moire pattern, so I changed it to iPad screen. (though, iPad screen makes the color a bit artificial)

Following 4 set of those photos, Left side were the original and the right photos were the screen shot. (All those photos came from Somewhere Net website —– I hope they don’t fuss about the copyright)  (If you Google, you may find the same very easily)

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Ideally, I should take the original photo myself though, I’m no longer such keen —– (and neither the model herself keen to see dirty old man.  Ha ha ha.  😀 )

I think you may agree, we don’t need to see too much details of the girls.  We are not seeing the woman like an ological specimen.   In certain extent, the beauty of the flower is the same = We only need to feel its atmosphere. (If we go into the details of the flower, often they are rather grotesque. —– after all,  flower is the sexual organ of the plant. —– or, am I a sexcist ?)

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Maple flowers

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Maple tree outside (said to be Oregon Maple though, I’m not sure) is having flowers.

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They don’t looks like flowers still, they must be.  As they produce the two-winged seed later.   And it seems they can pollinate themselves (or blown by the wind ?) as I don’t see any insect around.  —– There are many forms of life. (not only cherry is the flower.   😀

(Those photos were taken by Tamron 500 mm F8 mirror lens though, as it was done through the dusty double grazed window, the image was not sharp at all.)

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Two weeks later, how they looks now.  Though, I haven’t necessary been kept watching all the process how their tangled red things changed to this.  Photo above left might be the female flower and the right might be the male — but not sure. (Yes, I was wrong)

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You believe or not, the one above photo, the right one was taken by 1000 mm lens.  In fact, a x2 tele-converter was added to Tamron 500 mm lens. = Long time ago I bought this £5 converter as a joke, thinking to make it for a close-up ring by removing the optics.  But now I know, this was not a junk.   With x2 converter, F8 lens become F16, so that on DSLR’s optical view finder it become too dark to focus. (Unless we use live-view on the back screen)   But, mirror-less camera can show the amplified bright image, even focus-peaking is working ! = It’s their biggest advantage.   (still, 1000 mm lens was not suite for hand-held shot.)   😀      (Since I found their dropped flowers, I’ll show you =  You  can see them developing to the full winged seed.)  Then I remember, one of my Zeiss lens for Sony showed AF malfunction (hence, I realized that’s was why it was so cheap) I gave another look. = While making a test shot on manual focus.

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The picture here was by Zeiss (Sony) SEL55F18Z (55mm) Aperture was set to F8 (about 1/100 sec, hand held) and to show the enlarged center as well — pretty good isn’t it !  (By the way, Winged Seed pod right was the same pod wrongly appeared as Male, before.  Well nobody is perfect.  😀 ) 

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But, it might be too unfair to the other lens.  I did the same test by Micro Nikkor 55 mm F3.5 = this was the lens, the Nikon themselves named that “their best lens ever designed.” (Canon EF gives  no F-setting on Sony (unless use a £100 Sigma adapter)  and the others such as Contax, Pentax, Olympus, etc, I would give sometime another occasion.  😀 )  —– If we use the lens careful enough, and the camera has Hi-res sensor (Nikon D850 has 47.2 Mp / Sony A7R has 32 Mp ) they could produce pretty good image, without using a heavy tele-photo lens. (Just crop the picture.  Forget the “Purist’s brah brah kind”)  Anyway, Net is for harmless / useless info’chat or Joke.  😀

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Andreas Gursky Exhibition

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I went an ongoing exhibition of Andreas Gursky in Hayward Gallery with my friend’s family.

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The 16 months boy said to have started to walk this week.

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For the boy,  it was the first experience to be in a huge space and a slippery floor.  And he seemed to be very much fond of that and enjoying.

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Gursky’s huge prints are amazingly sharp and detailed —– I was wondered what size of camera he had used ?  —– Then as I discovered that they were composed from many photos etc, I lost interest.   I rather like to see such work from graphic designers.

 Photo above said to be a landscape of Tokyo though, houses standing next by next without hedges nor the gaps.  Of course, no such place could exists. (Think, how people can access to their door ? — Where is the street ?) = It’s mean, the houses in this photo were stitched-up one by one leaving no gap ! = This IS an utter fake.  Not only that, if his image of Tokyo in its “Reality” was like this, I have to doubt his intelligence. —– You can find the lords of straight photos of Tokyo in the Net, not mention National Geographic kind.   😀

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Photography is the art of “I’ve seen it and I captured” —– The primary existence is the subject. Once we started to make-up and project our own image, its became a business of the designer or even a painter, not of a Photographer.

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It seemed that Gursky’s interest were immense pile-up or swarms of the subjects, hence putting together and repeating many images, were natural approach though it was the commercial graphic designer’s approach.  Impress and overwhelm the others with “immense amount” were noting but a cheap trick, easy exploitation of the digital editing.

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It was the snow outside.   (The Photos here were taken by either Canon fish-eye zoom 8~15mm or homemade Helicoid-B lens on Sony A7R.)

PS :  Next day I read the booklet of the exhibition and realized that Gursky applied all those stitch work / digital manipulation for the “sake of reality” and later, he wanted to have painterly effect blah blah (by taking picture of the Turner’s paintings   :-D) ….. though, very simple answer to him was that his image was not pretty,  but just messy = does anybody want to have his photo on your wall, other than a sake of snob ?   😀

To compose the image, Approach from the pattern is easy, because it can be done in logical thinking.   But esthetic beauty only come from the deep intuitive sense.  So, its easy to see why Gursky resorted with those pattern or repeating expansion in mass.  But it IS not the art, but an industrial production.   ( Or was that cynical Modern Art ?)

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Self — Subconsciousness

With the incredible advancement of the technology, medical science etc, now we are becoming aware what is the Self in totally different aspect. (Though, those stories were based on the net news, Youtube kind = second, third source.  Take this lightly.)

With the forefront study of the monocular biology and the brain science using MRI kind of scanning = observing the activity of the brain, in relation to the internal flora of the bacteria, virus, even the parasite in our guts, are becoming clear. —— Why guts and the brain is linked ? you may say, = those organism in our guts are making many chemicals and those are circulating in our blood and reaching, affecting the brain, and the emotion, even high level decision-making and the behavior pattern.

You might heard the story of the parasite who manipulates the brain of ant to go top of a grass, in order to be eaten by a sheep, then lay their eggs there and it will be spread by the sheep’s droppings then go into the ant again = So, this cycle will be repeated and continues. —– those organisms can produce quite sophisticated chemicals, enzymes which can manipulate even our brain’s thinking and the emotion.  Though, who designed this incredible system is nothing but THE mystery.

Our mood, emotion which affects our thinking, behavior could easily be influenced by those chemicals, brain transmitters, hormones. (Though, we may not know what IS the condition of “Without” = co-havitating bacteria and its chemicals could be the NORM of our existence.) = Remember, “Mitochondria” in our body-cells, they are in fact, just co-havitating foreign organism = we didn’t create them = they got their own DNA !

Long since, we human has been using the term / words, such as Guts Feeling, Intuition etc = we can not clearly know but only vaguely feel the effect, the invisible influence or resulting deep mind, which we call “Subconsciousness” —– IS in reality, a result of the balance of the neuro hormones include the chemicals from those bacteria, parasite, and not much to do with spirituality.  So, true Self could be a product of the bacteria or parasite you are harboring in your guts.  Sound great isn’t it ?    😀

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Canberwell Cherry by Other Lenses

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You may think, the camera was rotated but this swirly bokeh was the lens’ own aberration.

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Those two were by Helicoid-B lens 

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And those two were by G9 lens

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Those photos above were by G10 lens

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What I don’t like about this camera was, its AWB (White Balance) changes frame to frame.

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And those two were by SZ lens

—– The hardest part in those photography was, to sort the photos without mix-up, not mention the trouble to capture them while holding the camera high above the head and shoot by guess-work. (You know, the Photography is a hard work)   😀  

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