Yoshizen's Blog

Kodak Brownie camera and 620 Film (B)


At last, I got 620 film from the Net and some more 120 film to play with Brownie camera.  😀


And I perfected the knack to use 120 film on the Brownie camera (by enlarge the holes of 120 film spool, etc.    With much annoyance of the purists over there.  I guess.


And now I’m ready to do a dark-room work since I got the chemicals, thermometer etc.   I wish I’m still maintaining the skill to wind the film on to a developing reel without leaving my finger-print on the film, in a total darkness.

Though, the room temperature these days are 27, 28 degree = rather hard to keep the developer’s temperature in the tank to 20 degree constant —– on a dry-run test, start with the developer which has been kept in a fridge and 18 degree (after 9, 10 minuets process, it would end-up to 23 degree) may be acceptable. — (have a water-bath with ice-cube, is the another approach though I’m a lazy man and I don’t have ice-cube tray — as they have been used to keep elec’ components.)

So, to see the images in a developed film (color transparency needs to go to a lab) would be a fun.    😀



Feeling – Heart – Mind – Thinking

Because of its nature of ambiguity, what going in the depth of our Mind has no clear picture or even the defined notion or name.  Nevertheless, we are using a kind of the name for the sake of convenience.  And, we are using a kind of words to describe each Psychological phenomena.   So, from the murky deep to clear conscious, we named each of them such as to Feeling, Heart, Mind, Thinking. 

With the advancement of the technology and the medical science, the research and the understanding toward those mechanism of the psychological phenomena were becoming clear day by day.  And the development of experimental psychology is started to show quite new fact and the reality. 

One of the experiment, which was — the two group of the volunteer was given the Adrenalin hormone (so, the blood pressure rose and the heart started pounding) and one group was told by a decoy volunteer as “I heard we are going to have a  pretty funny game after this. So, I’m very excited” and the other group heard the other decoy murmuring that “I heard that the after effect of this experiment could be very bad. I’m very much worried of this”  On the after interview, the first group told that he (she) was very excited with the expectation of fun.  But the second group answered that they felt fear.

—– The same physiological effect = risen blood pressure and pounding heart was felt by the first group as a joyful excitement.   But the second group felt it was a tension of a fear. = Each were biased to the opposite direction by the dubious suggestions.  So, the feeling could be as simple as the balance of the chemical, same as too much acid in the stomach.  And to figure it out (with the biased expression) “I’m very heavy” is your heart.  Then, describe it with more objective words “I feel very heavy” is your mind.  And you might started to think “Should I take a pil ?”

Ambiguous shadow in the deep, may not have any holy truth.   Neither Carl Jung kind of romantic belief not mention Freud’s delusion.  (Now those kind of so-called “Psychology” was dead long since = simply because no such memory device which hold like Oedipus Complex etc or unconscious memory was found under MRI —– all those were our own creation inspired by the learned story in the daily life = same as a Dream.)    So, the unconscious mind = “Heart” might be just an unsorted complication of the chemical mix. —– As you know, when you feel so crazy and hot in love, the reality was that you were just filled with Oxytocin and Dopamine in your blood. = So, you feel its urge, still as it was nothing to do with any logic or hi-level thinking, you can not describe its factor or reason in word. (In fact, if you could describe it, you were not in love but just observing third party !) —– We call such invisible drive or a vector as the Heart.   😀


修行での矛盾 — Paradox in Zen Practice

しかし禅の修行とは何か? そもそも禅とは何か? しかし禅が何であるかを答えたとしたら、それは禅ではないし、答える事自体が既に禅では無い。  


禅習得の足しになる方便は武道とか芸事など色々在り、それぞれの技能の習得、その進歩が目に見え体で感じられたりするので修行としたら大変都合が良い。 ---しかし、その都合良さに惑わされてしまうと、まるで禅と呼ばれるたいそうな事でもやっているような錯覚に陥る。

禅は神経生理上、シグナル(入力情報)が情動域(主に偏桃体)の関与無しに自動的に処理されるようになるので (情動域が『私の』というタグを付ける事で『我』=エゴ、欲、自己保存意識が発生する = 逆に言えば情動域が無視するような、害も無い反復シグナルを送り続けると情動域は無感覚になり入力を運動域などに直通させるようになる) 例えば武道においては恐怖のためらい無く、体が無意識に反応して神技のように動いたり、習い事で目をつぶったままでも完璧な所作が出来るようになったりする。 しかしここで生じる問題は、体や意識がその行に特定されてしまうという事です。(武道の奧義に達したからと言って禅の達人になるとは限らないーーー実在する奥義の後に禅が在ると思いがちですが、在ると思うのは禅などと言う観念に捕われた妄想に過ぎません。何故ならそのような観念すら存在しないのが禅なのですから) 

しかし刀も持たず、対峙する相手もない状態で、---例えば己自身に対してどれだけ無心になれるか? そもそも刀が無かったら己はここまで来ていたか? 

禅の修行はしばしば川を渡る事に例えられ 『川を渡りなば舟を投げ捨つるべし』と教えられる。 これが難しい。(笑)

方便とは言え刀を振回し五年十年と修行して来た揚句、それを投捨て意識の中から抹消するなどと言うのは書込む事よりよ程難しい。 果して刀も方便も無く出発し、どこかに到着する事が有るのか? 無から出発し無に到達し得るものか? (で、皮肉なことに実はどこにも到達しない、それこそが禅,と言うのが禅らしい。笑)

古来より行なわれている修行はぐるぐるとひたすら歩く事ですが、人は元々無意識でも歩ける。それをわざわざ修行と名付け意図的にやらせ、しかもやっている将にその事を意識の中から抹消させようとする矛盾。 逆に言えばそれを教えた人自身、実は無私無心という境地に達してはいなかったのではと疑わせます。(禅の観念にこだわっている師匠が考えそうな事ですよ)

ーーーもちろんそうした徹底した無意識化、無私化が無い訳ではありません=彫刻家のノミがあたかもそれ自身で動き出し、ノミと石だけの対峙になると言うのも在るし、形は元々石の中に在った(つまり『アタシが彫ったのではない』)と言うのはしばしば聞く。 (しかしここまで行くのは大変です。ーーーまァ精々やることで、それが平常心と言うモノ。 だからこそ犬のクソと言われるのです)


禅などと大上段に振かぶったものではなく単なる日常を平常のものとして丁寧に生活していく=そのうちに何故かその日常の手順がえらく軽やかでなめらかなものになっていくーーーそれで充分なのです。 (別に禅を極めたからといって閻魔大王に褒めてもらえる訳でも無いしそもそもあの世なんてものも無い。 生きているうちに充実した日常を送る事が肝心)  





Andreas Gursky Exhibition


I went an ongoing exhibition of Andreas Gursky in Hayward Gallery with my friend’s family.


The 16 months boy said to have started to walk this week.


For the boy,  it was the first experience to be in a huge space and a slippery floor.  And he seemed to be very much fond of that and enjoying.


Gursky’s huge prints are amazingly sharp and detailed —– I was wondered what size of camera he had used ?  —– Then as I discovered that they were composed from many photos etc, I lost interest.   I rather like to see such work from graphic designers.

 Photo above said to be a landscape of Tokyo though, houses standing next by next without hedges nor the gaps.  Of course, no such place could exists. (Think, how people can access to their door ? — Where is the street ?) = It’s mean, the houses in this photo were stitched-up one by one leaving no gap ! = This IS an utter fake.  Not only that, if his image of Tokyo in its “Reality” was like this, I have to doubt his intelligence. —– You can find the lords of straight photos of Tokyo in the Net, not mention National Geographic kind.   😀


Photography is the art of “I’ve seen it and I captured” —– The primary existence is the subject. Once we started to make-up and project our own image, its became a business of the designer or even a painter, not of a Photographer.


It seemed that Gursky’s interest were immense pile-up or swarms of the subjects, hence putting together and repeating many images, were natural approach though it was the commercial graphic designer’s approach.  Impress and overwhelm the others with “immense amount” were noting but a cheap trick, easy exploitation of the digital editing.




It was the snow outside.   (The Photos here were taken by either Canon fish-eye zoom 8~15mm or homemade Helicoid-B lens on Sony A7R.)

PS :  Next day I read the booklet of the exhibition and realized that Gursky applied all those stitch work / digital manipulation for the “sake of reality” and later, he wanted to have painterly effect blah blah (by taking picture of the Turner’s paintings   :-D) ….. though, very simple answer to him was that his image was not pretty,  but just messy = does anybody want to have his photo on your wall, other than a sake of snob ?   😀

To compose the image, Approach from the pattern is easy, because it can be done in logical thinking.   But esthetic beauty only come from the deep intuitive sense.  So, its easy to see why Gursky resorted with those pattern or repeating expansion in mass.  But it IS not the art, but an industrial production.   ( Or was that cynical Modern Art ?)


Self — Subconsciousness

With the incredible advancement of the technology, medical science etc, now we are becoming aware what is the Self in totally different aspect. (Though, those stories were based on the net news, Youtube kind = second, third source.  Take this lightly.)

With the forefront study of the monocular biology and the brain science using MRI kind of scanning = observing the activity of the brain, in relation to the internal flora of the bacteria, virus, even the parasite in our guts, are becoming clear. —— Why guts and the brain is linked ? you may say, = those organism in our guts are making many chemicals and those are circulating in our blood and reaching, affecting the brain, and the emotion, even high level decision-making and the behavior pattern.

You might heard the story of the parasite who manipulates the brain of ant to go top of a grass, in order to be eaten by a sheep, then lay their eggs there and it will be spread by the sheep’s droppings then go into the ant again = So, this cycle will be repeated and continues. —– those organisms can produce quite sophisticated chemicals, enzymes which can manipulate even our brain’s thinking and the emotion.  Though, who designed this incredible system is nothing but THE mystery.

Our mood, emotion which affects our thinking, behavior could easily be influenced by those chemicals, brain transmitters, hormones. (Though, we may not know what IS the condition of “Without” = co-havitating bacteria and its chemicals could be the NORM of our existence.) = Remember, “Mitochondria” in our body-cells, they are in fact, just co-havitating foreign organism = we didn’t create them = they got their own DNA !

Long since, we human has been using the term / words, such as Guts Feeling, Intuition etc = we can not clearly know but only vaguely feel the effect, the invisible influence or resulting deep mind, which we call “Subconsciousness” —– IS in reality, a result of the balance of the neuro hormones include the chemicals from those bacteria, parasite, and not much to do with spirituality.  So, true Self could be a product of the bacteria or parasite you are harboring in your guts.  Sound great isn’t it ?    😀


Self — Phenomenology

I found a talking post in the Youtube, a TV presenter introducing and discussing the topics in the new book = what he found the interesting point in the book.   In this time, while referring to a book introducing the Phenomenology, the presenter picked up that a person expose real self when the person made a mistake, havoc or failure. (Phenomenology is a study to observe / analyse “What was happened” in such “Event” —– so, this technique has been adapted to the Sociology, Psychology etc)    This TV program has been talking about such as a popular misunderstanding, misconception, etc, = give a second thought or new idea to the many daily topics and even an introduction to the Zen kind.

So, what interesting in the matter of Self = “Self would be exposed when the person encountered a bad event” = this IS the same Phenomenon, the “Selfless” in the Zen, but viewed from the opposite direction.  We or a person IS living Selfless as the human norm.  But when the peace of norm was broken at the event, we may get into a panic, or get angry etc and “go into the emotional response”.  These responses tend to reflect the personality = “Real Self”  (Broken something may be a financial loss, inconvenience to live without, or a loss of the precious memento, even a crisis to lose the job with its responsibility = in any aspects, it was the big shock to the Ego, Greed, Sense of security, even a matter of own survival.  And as those emotion is often beyond the rational control, the person act from the deep subconscious = it’s exposes hidden “Self”.  People may interested in to know their “Real Self” though, when actually faced such own response in the moment of “The Event” it would surprise, or even annoyed the person.)

Imagine a situation, when a USB cable was broken — some might shout “F***”, other may get upset “What a bad luck, why today, Why me” or blame the self “Why I was so careless to pull the cable” otherwise, even started to laugh “What’s a day, how silly”   Or, just go to the spare parts box which has been kept for such event. —– Certainly, they were the reflection of each personality.  = When usual kind of the signal was going into the brain = because of the signal was just usual, those signals were ignored by the emotional region (in the limbic system) therefore the daily task would be carried out as a routine, almost automatically, without any emotion.  So, it was seen as the Selfless in the Zen teachings. (Nevertheless, even in the “Selfless” state, all the brain is still functioning just as normal (hence all the bodily function too) BUT only without the Emotional reaction. = its mean, without Ego, Greed, Envy, Fear etc = all the psych emanated from the Emotional region = therefore the tactical response, proper repair etc to the breakage will be carried out with cool rational thinking.)

Though, in a context of the human life, strangely or NOT strangely, those “Emotional Person” was seen as a “Lovable person” and the Selfless calm person was seen cold. (Because, the people can relate to those emotional person for helping, listening, advising, even despising and teasing.)  Life is complicated and hard.  😀    —– Which type you want to be ?



I found a blog post showing the photos from the Origami exhibition of ICOA (International Collegiate Origami Association) = Those Origami exhibits were created by the Uni’ students, the members of each Origami club.   I show you one of a jaw dropping work, may be a typical Japanese Art of dedication which said to have 4~5 years of preparation and 3 weeks to make.  You believe or not, this figure of Hi-school girl was made by just a single square blue paper which got white back, without a use of scissors. 

Origami-5-001If you can’t believe, try make the same, following the draft / pattern here by yourself. (The same one would be made but, be prepared to spend few weeks of intense work) —– may be better start with simpler practice —> you may find a lots of Youtube instruction by Googling “Origami”. = I saw some of them but soon gave up.   😀


The original blog ( you need to read Japanese though the photos of those Origami works are worth visiting) :nlab.itmedia.co.jp/nl/articles/1708/16/news095.html#l hoico 170816jkori02.jpg

In there you may find the ICOA info’ as well. (or, you can Google in English)

They ARE in deed the work of incredible concentration and the dedication —– might be something common with other Japanese craft though, I couldn’t figure out how the creator could foresee / plan the process = (to see the “would be shape” beforehand —

Or lots of try and error ? — then the pattern of outcome would be accumulated (so-called experience) then, further advanced variation could be tried out — and so on, —– Or, is it the same to see the effect 10, 100 moves ahead on the Go, Chess, Shorgi game ?  And the same to forecast the effects of economical / financial move ?  (They ARE all follow the rational logic = to forecast the result may be the matter of the accumulated patterns = memory power / intelligence —– is it ? 


Dance Dance Dance !

May be because I’ve clicked the Spanish Flamenco or Japanese Awa-odori dance kind before, time to time, Youtube send me the dance viz —– so, I’ve encountered those amazing dance viz.

In this viz above, the first group was Doushisha-Kouri Hi’ and the second group was Osaka Tomioka-Hi’ —— Yes, they are all Hi-school girls.  First group was performing the dance,  titled “Black Rose” in black costume.  Then the second group was dancing in the 80s Disco style.  Those two were the top of the many hundreds of the entries of Japanese Hi-school Dance Club Annual Competition.  Lots of the club members may never dance before = It’s mean, to train the members in Three years to this level must be nothing but a phenomenon. — (A story behind told, that they practiced up to Nine hours a day ! —– Some comments to the viz described “like a Ninja” = Yes, Ninja was created in the same way = They were all under the same Japanese Zen Culture !)

Despite Tomioka got only second in last (2017)  year’s National Competition, once their viz, “Babbly Dance” was uploaded on to Youtube, it spread through SNS, they received 30 million hit and created a hype in Japan. ( So, they were invited to dance at “New year’s Eve National Song Fest/ 紅白歌合戦 on NHK” = for the hi-school girls to appear such National fest was the exceptional honour)

I admire the intensity and the speed of their body movement, though I wouldn’t dance in that way.   They dance very physical though, their movement was a staged, visually choreographed style for show = not follow a natural body dynamics.   It’s mean, if they were pushed while dancing, they will be easily toppled.  I took the basic body movement from the ski = if we lose the balance on ski, we will fly in the air and land 10 Ms away.    So, I’ll keep the center of the movement always in the symmetry to the center of gravity (so that I can hit or give a kick in any moment without losing the body balance as the body itself having the counter balance.)

One girl was saying, “Don’t think. Just keep doing until the body start to move automatically” = this words were the same as what I’ve been writing here, “Don’t think = Mushin” is the key in the Zen practice.  When their body start to move automatically, the ill-balanced artificially choreographed movement would be smoothed out.  I think, while doing such intense training, those girls would gain much more important “Natural dynamism of the body” which will be the key for their happy, healthy life for whole life.  Well done girls.




Piece of Art

I’ve just received a mail, large air-bubbled envelope.  And I discovered a content, a piece of Art which could have been packaged in a heavy wooden crate.

Art-top5It’s from a daughter of my friend, who started a fine art study, whom I gave a pinhole photo device. —– As a return of a 0.2 mm void on a beer-can panel, she made pretty unique image of a master piece for me.  (It’s a proof of that, a 0.2 mm void could have a trade value for could be a priceless master piece though, don’t take it for a precedence, it may not work for your case.)   😀   (A void created by a Zen master could have a significance, comparable to the whole universe.)   Believe me.   Ha ha ha.  😀


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Omuni-focus Lens

Omni lens(3)-003About a month ago, I talked about Halina camera and its lens. —– A story how I made its lens to use on the Sony A7R camera and showed its sample photos.

Omni lens(2)While checking those homemade lenses, I found that the said Halina lens could, (with an additional diverging lens on front, as its focal length become longer) be used with a thicker Nikon body.  So, I further modified to add a diverging lens and mounted them on a 42M (Pentax screw) to Ai (Nikon) mount adapter. = Here I got Omuni-focus lens for Nikon DSLR. (And this work was somewhat related to the other lens)

Omni lens(1)-001

I know, this situation is having a silly contradiction.  Why 47.5 MP Hi-Res camera need such low-Res images ? —– Omuni-focus mean, nowhere having a “Distinctive OUT of FOCUS (Bokhe) image” in the same time, no “Clearly Focused image” either.  = Just rotten images spread from top to bottom. ( More like a pinhole photo ! )   

A_Omni lens(4)-006Yet still, those photos above, both far and close subjects, it is a rather remarkable phenomenon, such a cheap plastic lens can make (a kind of) usable image in any distance, without focusing, without using smaller F-aperture.    (BYW, the last dried rose was taken with an additional close-up ring) = Omuni-focus is not necessary an almighty.)

A_Omni lens(5)-007And those comparison photos were for academic interest.  Left was by this Omuni-focus lens, and the right was in deed, a pinhole photo image !

Now, my point must be clear, not necessary only decent sharp image could be a good photo.  (Though, I’m not implying my fuzzy image here IS a good photo.  😀

Omuni—– May be not a good photo still, I found that those fuzzy images appeal to our deeper psychology. —– I had distant memories in my subconscious, I might have seen this long long time ago —– may be even on my previous life ? ? ? ) 


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