Yoshizen's Blog

Kodak Brownie camera and 620 Film (B)


At last, I got 620 film from the Net and some more 120 film to play with Brownie camera.  😀


And I perfected the knack to use 120 film on the Brownie camera (by enlarge the holes of 120 film spool, etc.    With much annoyance of the purists over there.  I guess.


And now I’m ready to do a dark-room work since I got the chemicals, thermometer etc.   I wish I’m still maintaining the skill to wind the film on to a developing reel without leaving my finger-print on the film, in a total darkness.

Though, the room temperature these days are 27, 28 degree = rather hard to keep the developer’s temperature in the tank to 20 degree constant —– on a dry-run test, start with the developer which has been kept in a fridge and 18 degree (after 9, 10 minuets process, it would end-up to 23 degree) may be acceptable. — (have a water-bath with ice-cube, is the another approach though I’m a lazy man and I don’t have ice-cube tray — as they have been used to keep elec’ components.)

So, to see the images in a developed film (color transparency needs to go to a lab) would be a fun.    😀



Short Walk (B)

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Those photos were another product of the same Short Walk (A), hence using the same homemade lenses Helicoid (A) and (B) on the Sony A7R.     While walking through the park, finding which flower is really a chance encounter, and how to capture it, while seeing the character of the optics and the shape of the flower, how to compose it, in which angle and the distance IS what all about the Photography.  In certain extent, it is a game or the match between the two personalities.  In Zen Buddhist term, we are living on the moment to moment life.   And to deal with the Person (subject just encountered) as if there is nothing else exists and nothing else to do is, so-called Mindfulness, and in this mind-set, there is no Ego.   So, this situation is a proof of the No-self or Anatman.   Yet still, in other stance, to see a subject as a subject might be seen as yet another Ego, therefore not aim the subject but to see everything as the everything may be a right view.   Though, in practice, the image of an ultra-wide angle lens clicked random is just a mess —– so, the question is, whether the Zen needs a nice answer ?    Or such answer itself is not Zen ? ? ?  —– Good question.   What a nice day ! —– Ha ha ha,  😀  

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Helicoid (A) lens happen to have an Iris, so that, by the depth of field control, flower showed a bit more details, still, take the image of Helicoid (B) (photo right) is a matter of the taste.

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Both (A) and (B) lenses, its center of close-up images are amazingly good.

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Those two pictures were given a shake when the shutter was opened. (Don’t ask me what for — it’s only for a fun)

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I realized that I don’t have many photos of the Blue Bell.  May be their flower is too common, yet only in a short period.  Still, why it makes the difference to the Cherry ? —– M m m ?  —– I might have an unconscious notion, that the Cherry is the Japanese but the Blue Bell is English.   But why ? ? ? —– May be because, I didn’t grow up with Blue Bell but with Cherry.   As the photography is a way of the Self expression, it became a kind of a biography.


Short Walk (A)

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In deed, I haven’t have done a photo-walk a while. —– without a reason = IS a problem = just getting lazy.   So, bashing myself and went out with a camera and two lenses. (still, all in one pocket = that’s a beauty of the small homemade lenses. = Helicoid (A) and (B) lenses with Sony A7R)

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You may wonder what was a point to have those two lenses.   Ha ha ha, you are right.  Both of them are equally fuzzy lenses.  The differences were, —– if the fuzzy surrounding has Coma bokeh, it was the (A) lens.  And if it was with Astigmatism bokeh, it was the (B) lens.   Both for the sake of painterly effect which I like very much.



Deeper into the Zen

Some of you, the keen followers might be wondering what this man is  talking about ?   And what would it to do with Zen ?

—– The fundamental question is, “If the Zen is to deal with the life in the absolutely empty mind =  in Mushin, (completely dispassionate, almost like a machine) —– Hey stop joking, which part of the brain is actuary handling it ? ”  (If somewhere the brain IS handling = with the intention to handle it, IS not Mushin but just not aware what he is doing, it’s a fraud ! )

How I came to here, you may find how our condition of the Guts (and the chemicals of its bacteria, parasites) influencing our “Feeling = Heart = Mind = ultimately the way of thinking”   We are not really in control. (Since this blog IS the live description of the DIY Zen research, I need to see the mechanism what makes the Zen as Zen —– in fact what IS so-called Zen ? = if any at all ?)

Now you must be convinced, that the so-called Zen teaching in the town IS fraud. Zen couldn’t be learned or taught, while saying Zen.  As long as the notion of Zen in mind, even if it was hidden in the deepest unconsciousness.  It IS not Zen.  I’ll show you “The legend = the Archer who try to reach Zen while learning Archery in Japan” in the next post. (If you like to start ahead, find a book and read it before hand = Zen in the Art of Archery : by Eugen Herrigel —– It’s a small book = 100 pages or so in a Penguin books)


PS : I’ll explain you, my utterly strange Lens Making Game.  Do you think is there any complicated theory or creative notion ? —– Non at all.  It was the same process of the cutting a lemon.   In other word, a kind of work of Just Do It with a material I found then —– Imagine, do you think would it be any sophisticated philosophy or scientific theory behind ? = far from it, cutting minute depth of metal barrel to match the focus = IS the ZEN.  (I don’t have a skin thick enough to have a pretense to show-off “Copy the mantra” kind)   😀



Cherry Cherry – 2018

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Since I put the photo of the first cherry, it’s already 3 weeks past.  They are still in full bloom though, the flowers started falling. The end of Somei-yoshino season.   (Then Multi petals cherry is coming.)

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So, this year’s Cherry pictures were made by “Helicoid-B” lens.  (One of the worst reputed lens ! = therefore in these days I’ve been using the most.   😀 )

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Without me shake even a single finger, the picture became almost trembled. ( = The technique to produce the paintary effect in the most economical way !     😀 )

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(Only the problem was that the image in the finder was too fuzzy to see the focus.)

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So, those two (three) photos were taken by a kind of normal lens = Tamron SP 500 mm Mirror lens. —— Somebody teased me saying “Can’t you take normal picture ?” “I leave that kind of business to the Phone camera user, otherwise no point for me to use bulky interchangeable lens camera”   😀

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Though, the Tamron gave me too pale color.  (May be I need to use Photoshop kind though, that’s what I hate most.)


Feeling – Heart – Mind – Thinking

Because of its nature of ambiguity, what going in the depth of our Mind has no clear picture or even the defined notion or name.  Nevertheless, we are using a kind of the name for the sake of convenience.  And, we are using a kind of words to describe each Psychological phenomena.   So, from the murky deep to clear conscious, we named each of them such as to Feeling, Heart, Mind, Thinking. 

With the advancement of the technology and the medical science, the research and the understanding toward those mechanism of the psychological phenomena were becoming clear day by day.  And the development of experimental psychology is started to show quite new fact and the reality. 

One of the experiment, which was — the two group of the volunteer was given the Adrenalin hormone (so, the blood pressure rose and the heart started pounding) and one group was told by a decoy volunteer as “I heard we are going to have a  pretty funny game after this. So, I’m very excited” and the other group heard the other decoy murmuring that “I heard that the after effect of this experiment could be very bad. I’m very much worried of this”  On the after interview, the first group told that he (she) was very excited with the expectation of fun.  But the second group answered that they felt fear.

—– The same physiological effect = risen blood pressure and pounding heart was felt by the first group as a joyful excitement.   But the second group felt it was a tension of a fear. = Each were biased to the opposite direction by the dubious suggestions.  So, the feeling could be as simple as the balance of the chemical, same as too much acid in the stomach.  And to figure it out (with the biased expression) “I’m very heavy” is your heart.  Then, describe it with more objective words “I feel very heavy” is your mind.  And you might started to think “Should I take a pil ?”

Ambiguous shadow in the deep, may not have any holy truth.   Neither Carl Jung kind of romantic belief not mention Freud’s delusion.  (Now those kind of so-called “Psychology” was dead long since = simply because no such memory device which hold like Oedipus Complex etc or unconscious memory was found under MRI —– all those were our own creation inspired by the learned story in the daily life = same as a Dream.)    So, the unconscious mind = “Heart” might be just an unsorted complication of the chemical mix. —– As you know, when you feel so crazy and hot in love, the reality was that you were just filled with Oxytocin and Dopamine in your blood. = So, you feel its urge, still as it was nothing to do with any logic or hi-level thinking, you can not describe its factor or reason in word. (In fact, if you could describe it, you were not in love but just observing third party !) —– We call such invisible drive or a vector as the Heart.   😀


修行での矛盾 — Paradox in Zen Practice

しかし禅の修行とは何か? そもそも禅とは何か? しかし禅が何であるかを答えたとしたら、それは禅ではないし、答える事自体が既に禅では無い。  


禅習得の足しになる方便は武道とか芸事など色々在り、それぞれの技能の習得、その進歩が目に見え体で感じられたりするので修行としたら大変都合が良い。 ---しかし、その都合良さに惑わされてしまうと、まるで禅と呼ばれるたいそうな事でもやっているような錯覚に陥る。

禅は神経生理上、シグナル(入力情報)が情動域(主に偏桃体)の関与無しに自動的に処理されるようになるので (情動域が『私の』というタグを付ける事で『我』=エゴ、欲、自己保存意識が発生する = 逆に言えば情動域が無視するような、害も無い反復シグナルを送り続けると情動域は無感覚になり入力を運動域などに直通させるようになる) 例えば武道においては恐怖のためらい無く、体が無意識に反応して神技のように動いたり、習い事で目をつぶったままでも完璧な所作が出来るようになったりする。 しかしここで生じる問題は、体や意識がその行に特定されてしまうという事です。(武道の奧義に達したからと言って禅の達人になるとは限らないーーー実在する奥義の後に禅が在ると思いがちですが、在ると思うのは禅などと言う観念に捕われた妄想に過ぎません。何故ならそのような観念すら存在しないのが禅なのですから) 

しかし刀も持たず、対峙する相手もない状態で、---例えば己自身に対してどれだけ無心になれるか? そもそも刀が無かったら己はここまで来ていたか? 

禅の修行はしばしば川を渡る事に例えられ 『川を渡りなば舟を投げ捨つるべし』と教えられる。 これが難しい。(笑)

方便とは言え刀を振回し五年十年と修行して来た揚句、それを投捨て意識の中から抹消するなどと言うのは書込む事よりよ程難しい。 果して刀も方便も無く出発し、どこかに到着する事が有るのか? 無から出発し無に到達し得るものか? (で、皮肉なことに実はどこにも到達しない、それこそが禅,と言うのが禅らしい。笑)

古来より行なわれている修行はぐるぐるとひたすら歩く事ですが、人は元々無意識でも歩ける。それをわざわざ修行と名付け意図的にやらせ、しかもやっている将にその事を意識の中から抹消させようとする矛盾。 逆に言えばそれを教えた人自身、実は無私無心という境地に達してはいなかったのではと疑わせます。(禅の観念にこだわっている師匠が考えそうな事ですよ)

ーーーもちろんそうした徹底した無意識化、無私化が無い訳ではありません=彫刻家のノミがあたかもそれ自身で動き出し、ノミと石だけの対峙になると言うのも在るし、形は元々石の中に在った(つまり『アタシが彫ったのではない』)と言うのはしばしば聞く。 (しかしここまで行くのは大変です。ーーーまァ精々やることで、それが平常心と言うモノ。 だからこそ犬のクソと言われるのです)


禅などと大上段に振かぶったものではなく単なる日常を平常のものとして丁寧に生活していく=そのうちに何故かその日常の手順がえらく軽やかでなめらかなものになっていくーーーそれで充分なのです。 (別に禅を極めたからといって閻魔大王に褒めてもらえる訳でも無いしそもそもあの世なんてものも無い。 生きているうちに充実した日常を送る事が肝心)  





What ? — OMG, it’s Cherry flower


On the street, I found a dropped Cherry flower.   —– ?    What ?   —– I looked up, OMG it was a cherry tree started to open the flowers.   Only few days ago, there was nothing.  It’s suddenly happened.  I picked up a dropped flower and a bud to bring back.


I put the flowers on the water in a lens cap.  And took pictures.  (After a while, a bud opened as well) —– It was a kind of my habit in these days, which was to make the photos for comparison = the photo left above was taken by Sony 30 mm F3.5 Macro and the right was by Helicoid-B lens.


So, this year’s first Somei-yoshino flowers were put next to the kitchen tap = In fact, this IS my photo studio.  (All the “Studio shot” in my Blog were taken in this “Studio” !    Another funny fact was — that all those homemade lenses were made in this kitchen work shop, and almost all of my sculptures were also produced in here.)  

It’s very simple, if we need to make, make it, or just do it.   There may not need to have any good-cause or theory or facility kind.  So, if you have a knife, you can cut.  With the same knife, you can cook as well.  If you can’t, you were just clinging an excuse of not to do or even worse you might be waiting somebody to push your back.   😀     (By the way, this is in deed the way of Zen = Zen need no cause or reason to do.  In fact Zen is to eliminate anything that kind.  Therefore Mushin (Mind of No mind) still, even a mind to think No-mind shouldn’t be there, = hence “Everyday’s Mind” (Heijo-shin 平常心). That’s why to able to be in the Everyday’s mind which is nothing special / peculiar  (is so ubiquitous as a dog shit) IS the Enlightenment. 



Screen Copy by Fuzzy Lens


The outside is still cold and not much flower, and, I’m not keen to take picture of cut flower = so, just took photo of a flower in my old post screen using very fuzzy Helicoid-B lens.


When I try, I realized that the old screen of XP laptop makes moire pattern, so I changed it to iPad screen. (though, iPad screen makes the color a bit artificial)

Following 4 set of those photos, Left side were the original and the right photos were the screen shot. (All those photos came from Somewhere Net website —– I hope they don’t fuss about the copyright)  (If you Google, you may find the same very easily)






Ideally, I should take the original photo myself though, I’m no longer such keen —– (and neither the model herself keen to see dirty old man.  Ha ha ha.  😀 )

I think you may agree, we don’t need to see too much details of the girls.  We are not seeing the woman like an ological specimen.   In certain extent, the beauty of the flower is the same = We only need to feel its atmosphere. (If we go into the details of the flower, often they are rather grotesque. —– after all,  flower is the sexual organ of the plant. —– or, am I a sexcist ?)


Maple flowers


Maple tree outside (said to be Oregon Maple though, I’m not sure) is having flowers.


They don’t looks like flowers still, they must be.  As they produce the two-winged seed later.   And it seems they can pollinate themselves (or blown by the wind ?) as I don’t see any insect around.  —– There are many forms of life. (not only cherry is the flower.   😀

(Those photos were taken by Tamron 500 mm F8 mirror lens though, as it was done through the dusty double grazed window, the image was not sharp at all.)


Two weeks later, how they looks now.  Though, I haven’t necessary been kept watching all the process how their tangled red things changed to this.  Photo above left might be the female flower and the right might be the male — but not sure. (Yes, I was wrong)


You believe or not, the one above photo, the right one was taken by 1000 mm lens.  In fact, a x2 tele-converter was added to Tamron 500 mm lens. = Long time ago I bought this £5 converter as a joke, thinking to make it for a close-up ring by removing the optics.  But now I know, this was not a junk.   With x2 converter, F8 lens become F16, so that on DSLR’s optical view finder it become too dark to focus. (Unless we use live-view on the back screen)   But, mirror-less camera can show the amplified bright image, even focus-peaking is working ! = It’s their biggest advantage.   (still, 1000 mm lens was not suite for hand-held shot.)   😀      (Since I found their dropped flowers, I’ll show you =  You  can see them developing to the full winged seed.)  Then I remember, one of my Zeiss lens for Sony showed AF malfunction (hence, I realized that’s was why it was so cheap) I gave another look. = While making a test shot on manual focus.


The picture here was by Zeiss (Sony) SEL55F18Z (55mm) Aperture was set to F8 (about 1/100 sec, hand held) and to show the enlarged center as well — pretty good isn’t it !  (By the way, Winged Seed pod right was the same pod wrongly appeared as Male, before.  Well nobody is perfect.  😀 ) 


But, it might be too unfair to the other lens.  I did the same test by Micro Nikkor 55 mm F3.5 = this was the lens, the Nikon themselves named that “their best lens ever designed.” (Canon EF gives  no F-setting on Sony (unless use a £100 Sigma adapter)  and the others such as Contax, Pentax, Olympus, etc, I would give sometime another occasion.  😀 )  —– If we use the lens careful enough, and the camera has Hi-res sensor (Nikon D850 has 47.2 Mp / Sony A7R has 32 Mp ) they could produce pretty good image, without using a heavy tele-photo lens. (Just crop the picture.  Forget the “Purist’s brah brah kind”)  Anyway, Net is for harmless / useless info’chat or Joke.  😀



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